


Starscreams List

by The_Wannabe_666



Category: Transformers Generation One, Transformers: Beast Wars
Genre: A list of rules for Starscream to follow, Gen, Or never
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 17:06:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 26,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1436167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Wannabe_666/pseuds/The_Wannabe_666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was once over on FF.net but had to be pulled because it was against their rules</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. More than Meets the Eye and Transport to Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> This was once over on FF.net but had to be pulled because it was against their rules

Megatron has gotten tired of Starscream's treachery (Not to mention his mouth) and has asked that I; Skywarp, the almighty Teleporter; create a list of rules that he should follow (Never going to happen).  
Although he has hinted at making one for the rest of the army (starting with me)  
Lets begin

1\. Never drink high grade and get laid while on guard duty  
 _It allows Autobots to escape with fuel_  
 _Though your voice is actually bearable_

2\. When the enemy is down; LEAVE them alone  
 _We would have of won the war_

3\. When you are told to save energy; you do as you are commanded  
 _Once again we would have of won the war_  
 _And we would have of been bored._

4\. When told to use your imagination; use YOUR imagination  
 _Not Soundwave's_  
 _He has a reputation to uphold as an uncharismatic bore_

5\. Think before you speak  
 _You are a scientist; sound like one_  
 _You must know how much energon we require_

6\. Get the energon cubes out before you destroy the energy source  
 _And use your Null Rays_  
 _I mean seriously; a slingshot!_

7\. The energy cubes work  
 _We don't need to test them_  
 _Your mouth doesn't need to be tested either_  
 _Or our patience_  
 _Or our audios_

8\. When you claim something; back it up  
 _You don't have any patience_  
 _Stop claiming to_  
 _Nor will you be leader_  
 _You can stop claiming that too_

9\. Don't shoot Megatron with Soundwave present  
 _He is still loyal_  
 _Maybe too loyal_

10\. Make sure your weapons are fully charged  
 _It makes your takeover attempts even more pitiful_  
 _How do you think that you would make a good leader?_  
 _How did you make it to SIC and Air Commander?_

11\. Make sure there is some time between your failure and subsequent groveling  
 _The army doesn't need to fall over laughing_  
 _Except when we have won_  
 _Or when we get some medics_

12\. Keep hold of your weapons  
 _They are attached to your arms for a reason_  
 _It was knocked off by a measly squishy_  
 _How pathetic_  
 _Yes I know Megatron has the same problem; take it up with him_

13\. Pick the timing for you mutinies  
 _Even if you shoot an intruder you will be dealt with_  
 _Maybe not if we're crashing at the time_  
 _But definitely when we land_

14\. Stand your ground when the Autobots attack  
 _It has been brought to my attention that I must as well_  
 _And it was only a few minibots_  
 _How embarrassing_

15\. Stop stating the obvious  
 _We already know that they were spies_  
 _And that they were escaping_  
 _Yes we know the Autobots will follow_  
 _It gets annoying after a while_  
 _And that is what we have Soundwave for_

16\. Don't talk; just shoot  
 _It causes unnecessary pain_  
 _Even to us as Decepticons_  
 _It would be a good torture though_

17\. You retreat when you are told to  
 _Yes you do retreat; constantly_  
 _How could you be a good leader?_

18\. Find out if Megatron is dead before you claim that you are leader  
 _It has happened before._  
 _Too many times_  
 _And Megatron is still alive_  
 _And you are still only SIC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All these came out of G1. I have only added a few things like in rule 1. Do you know that I picked up 7 mistakes in the first few episodes; most were double ups or Seeker colour screw ups. This will continue through G1 till Ghost in the Machine though who will write it after TFTM I don't know.


	2. Roll for It, Divide and Conquer and Fire in the Sky

Well apparently having a list written about your constant failures isn't enough to deter our favorite traitor; so I have been asked to continue.  
By all mechs on the Nemesis (excluding Starscream of course)  
And I have been informed that this isn't because of my glowing personality; just because I usually don't do any work. Thanks Thundercracker!  
On with the show

19\. Watch where you are flying  
 _Soundwave is still pissed_  
 _Thought he couldn't show any emotions_  
 _Well I now owe you five high grades_

20\. Don't allow the humans to call the Autobots  
 _They always ruin the fun_

21\. Get the energon out quickly  
 _It does explode_  
 _And then we cannot get overenergised_  
 _That prevents the drunken revelries_  
 _And our more exciting overloads_

22\. Stop whining  
 _You sound like a femme_  
 _Not that we didn't think that before_  
 _Or that you look like one too_

23\. Call your own retreat  
 _Don't wait for Soundwave_  
 _He makes an even worse leader than you_

24\. Get the Autobots before they jump us  
 _You know how uncomfortable Jet Judo is_  
 _We will make you pay later_  
 _Depending on how we feel_

25\. Aim and then shoot  
 _We could have of won_  
 _Megatron was all powerful_  
 _Don't comment on how I managed to not notice the squishy; both of them_  
 _That was not my fault_  
 _I swear_

26\. Don't report complete success  
 _That can change_  
 _Fast_

27\. Don't ask for commendations when you aren't finished  
 _It looks desperate_  
 _Attention Seeker_

28\. When you have the advantage  
 _Take it_  
 _Lucky accidents don't always happen_  
 _To us at least_

29\. Don't comment on something unless you know  
 _It makes Soundwave look competent_  
 _Even Rumble looks competent_  
 _Even I look competent_

30\. Get frozen more often  
 _We like you like that_  
 _You're easier to get along with_  
 _Thundercracker loved the colour_

31\. Sarcasm is only used at certain times  
 _Not in front of the Autobots_  
 _Not to Megatron's face_  
 _Or about Megatron in general_  
 _You will end up in med bay_  
 _Again_

32\. Don't say that there is work to be done when you are doing nothing  
 _Hypocrite_  
 _I was doing something_  
 _Annoying Rumble_

33\. Keep your friend close and your enemies closer  
 _No comment_  
 _Wait! What friends_  
 _Don't look at me_  
 _Or Thundercracker_  
 _You're just a good lay_  
 _Joking we're your friends!_

34\. Don't call any one else traitor  
 _You are the king of all traitors_  
 _That is just common knowledge_  
 _That is all you will rule_

35\. Look/scan above you  
 _How did you not know?_  
 _I mean sneak attack_  
 _You always know when I'm there_  
 _You've ruined one too many of my pranks_  
 _Spoilsport_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Why does Starscream have his F15 Eagle mode in the flashback with Skyfire? This was before they crashed on Earth. Skyfire hadn't even seen Starscream and his new form yet. I can understand colour issues but we were not supposed to look that closely.


	3. SOS Dinobots, Fire on the Mountain and War of the Dinobots

More rules and MORE work for me; I am not Soundwave (though if this had been Soundwave it would be so damn boring). As I have been told; suck it up.  
I have to think of a way of getting back at Screamer for all these rules.

36\. Don't sound so bored when asking Megatron about his plans.  
 _Yes I know they are repetitive_  
 _And unimaginative_  
 _Just go with it_

37\. When we are flying; LEAD  
 _You are the Air Commander_  
 _And Trine Leader_  
 _Why is Thundercracker leading?_  
 _And why can't I?_

38\. Prevent Skywarp from speaking  
 _Thundercracker made me put this one in_  
 _Apparently I embarrass everyone_  
 _As if they don't_

39\. Think up better insults  
 _Rusty pants?_  
 _Yeah… no comment_  
 _You broke rule #16 too_

40\. STOP claiming to be leader  
 _You never lead for long enough_  
 _Either Megatron or the Autobots happen_  
 _We still don't follow you_  
 _Correction we only follow you to see how you get slagged_

41\. Keep hold of Megatron when he is in his alt form  
 _Though this rule contradicts your treacherous nature_  
 _You will be punished less though_  
 _Thundercracker and I wouldn't have to console you as much_  
 _(Ignore this comment; I like the overloads that happen when we console you)_

42\. Listen to Thundercracker  
 _He made me put this in again_  
 _Though he sometimes does know what he is talking about_  
 _Sometimes_

43\. Stop whining about being questioned  
 _You are a traitorous SIC_  
 _You always run in battle_  
 _Your inventions almost never work_  
 _You brought this on yourself_

44\. Don't blame your Trine for your mistakes  
 _We have to watch your back_  
 _And sometimes we let things slip past_  
 _You will find out soon_

45\. Don't scream your name  
 _We know who you are_  
 _And you are not mighty_  
 _Ever_

46\. Don't turn your back on those who you have betrayed  
 _As I said we let things slip_  
 _Just because Thundercracker is a worse traitor than you means nothing_  
 _And you broke rule #35_

47\. Don't let a minibot get the better of you  
 _It's a slagging minibot_  
 _At least Megatron was thrown by Prime_  
 _That isn't embarrassing_  
 _You also broke rule #23 (that is why he is called THUNDER-cracker)_

48\. Don't show fear around Megatron  
 _That is why you are his favorite punching bag_  
 _It boosts his ego_  
 _And makes you irritable_  
 _You are excruciatingly hard to live with when irritated_

49\. When you have something to say; make sure it is heard  
 _It was a change from listening you screech about nothing_  
 _It means you were following rule #5_  
 _Although you once again broke rule #23_

50\. Have some distance when you do the 'I told you so' routine  
 _Megatron is irritated easily_  
 _So are the Dinobots_  
 _Do you like being shot?_  
 _Are you a masochist?_  
 _Though both Thundercracker and I love consoling you after_  
 _You seem more receptive_

Well that is it for now; although I have found that I am getting annoyed by whoever spread around that I once yelled out in battle 'heat seeking missiles; seek heat' and that they still managed to miss.  
That is not why they are heat seeking; I have excellent aim!  
No I am not bragging and I don't have any rules to break.  
I had to start adding rules that were broken onto the newer rules though this may have to discontinue when they start taking over the list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten episodes; fifty rules. This was inspired by all of the list fics online; Damn I just broke a rule #4. Well the first rule I had was #9 where Starscream shoots Megatron in the back with Soundwave present. Fun times!


	4. The Ultimate Doom and Countdown to Extinction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be using formatting as I just cannot use it to any competency.

I am beginning to think that it would be a great idea to either send Starscream to Cybertron or send him on a pointless mission into space.  
I mean come on; I assumed that these rules would end at 50 but here we are again writing some more.  
I have a massive processor ache (thanks Thundercracker)

51\. Allow Skywarp to have some fun  
We could have of had a few tosses before they arrived  
He was so scared  
Spoilsport

52\. Don't start a fight without backup  
You will just lose  
It was the truth  
You do waste more energy with your mouth  
Thanks for the help Thundercracker  
We will get you later for that

53\. Make sure of your enemies  
You are a panic monger  
Why Megatron has a life sized model of Prime I don't know  
Probably to do what we like to do  
A lot

54\. Don't get hit by your own missiles  
Oh wait that was Thundercracker  
How could you tell; we all look alike underwater  
Still can be applied to you  
And me

55\. Get your orders directly from Megatron  
Ignore the squishy  
He will just end up being scrapped  
You know what…  
Just step on him

56\. When you get knocked out of the Nemesis  
Get straight back in and fight  
You really are useless  
You broke rule #4

57\. Take notice of your surroundings  
What had your attention so long that Thundercracker saw the Autobots first  
But it might be fun  
I don't want to know what Megatron was doing

58\. Don't yell at your enemies  
They won't change their minds  
Maybe with the hypnochip  
You sound like a fool  
Why do we still follow?

59\. Don't play with fire  
You just get burnt  
And Thundercracker was right  
AGAIN!  
My audios are still ringing from your yelling

60\. Don't cross Megatron  
I don't know why this was written  
It is pretty self explanatory  
Unless you want to be titanium fragments  
You had your only warning  
Didn't you get fifty such warnings?

61\. When you see an unstable energon cube RUN  
You might get blown up less  
I wasn't my fault this time

62\. If the plan is unworkable; complain later  
You end up doing it anyway  
With more pain

63\. Watch your back  
If you are going to mutiny know where Megatron is  
You will be executed  
Eventually

64\. Don't tell anyone to 'activate your mouth'  
You do it enough  
We need a break

65\. Don't ask for people to marvel at your ingenuity  
You have none  
Thundercracker and I would know

66\. Don't ask if people take you for a fool  
We do  
It doesn't need to be said  
Too often

67\. Make your lies believable  
Even Shockwave got curious  
Maybe you shouldn't have of banned him  
It only made him try harder

68\. Don't brag to humans  
It's sad that they are the only ones to listen  
We don't  
Or at least we try not to

69\. Let the human die  
He was even more useless than you

70\. Don't destroy the Earth when the Decepticons are still on  
We still want to stay online  
It isn't worth the price  
And you wonder why you aren't taken seriously  
I mean seriously

71\. Wait a moment before checking on your explosion  
It may be delayed  
And you end up captured  
Still don't know why you are online  
Other than for the amazing overloads

Rule #38 now applies to Thundercracker with his comment on 'we will make them regret undooming themselves'. He thought I embarrassed the Decepticons.  
Although I have to admit that Starscream looks extremely pleasing when he is pouting and why is Shockwave such a whiny mech?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second stupidest comment in Transformers after Skywarps 'heat seeking missiles; seek heat' though some other comments from Megatron come in close.


	5. A Plague of Insecticons, Heavy Metal War, Autobot Spike and Changing Gears

Well I have been given some suggestions to put on The List and I have one thing to say to you all; frag off. This is my list and I will put what I want on it.  
Otherwise I will start a list for some of my other colleagues (including you Thundercracker)  
Onto the fifth section of rules.

72\. Don't sit on your aft when there is work to be done  
Yes I know Megatron had you tied to his berth  
We needed help with the Insecticons  
And you couldn't escape  
I had other duties  
Thundercracker sounded smart for once  
And I missed it

73\. Don't stand around with your mouth open  
It makes you look stupid  
Even if your fangirls like it  
And me and Thundercracker like it too  
Far too much

74\. Don't ask to be forgiven  
No one does  
You sound so insincere

75\. Don't ask if a Decepticon would cheat  
We just do  
You should know best  
You cheat the most

76\. Don't brag, at all  
We know what powers you contribute  
Too bad one was also a running mouth  
And an inability to be discrete  
And a liking to shoot mechs in the back  
I know I did some bragging as well

77\. Stand at the front  
There is already a rumor going around that we are led by Thundercracker  
I mean seriously  
I found it on fanfiction  
On numerous stories

78\. Stop taking Megatron's threats seriously  
They never succeed  
And you always survive  
Though I don't know why

79\. Wait until Megatron orders an attack  
You might actually get something right  
Though Megatron still won't be pleased

80\. Don't attack unless ordered  
It might be Megatron's plan  
As insane as that seems

81\. Always be ready to be smacked  
It seems to happen every time you open your mouth  
Back handed too

82\. Use the Null Rays  
That is the only reason we keep you  
Because only you can use them  
I wish I could  
It would be so good in pranks

83\. Don't dance  
Either stand in one place or sit on your aft  
No one else had a problem  
You look ridiculous  
I so love you

84\. Don't shoot around a power gathering machine  
You will kill us all  
Including yourself  
And we all know how much you love yourself  
More than us

85\. Don't imitate Skywarp's voice  
You have your own irritating voice  
That is yours  
Stop taking mine

86\. Don't think everyone lies  
You were warned  
Then you were rammed by that yellow brat  
Sucks to be you

87\. Don't rely on slaves  
They always break out of it

88\. Don't say you have mercy  
We know you don't have any  
Although you do plead for it a lot  
And why do you always get it?

Oh Thundercracker will never live down the way that he was kicked into a tree by Ratchet; Ninja Medic. Oh the blackmail material.  
I know I was smacked down by the Engineer; but I wasn't sent flying.  
Thundercracker could have of brought the coconut that was next to his foot when he retreated.  
Souvenir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch the end of 'Changing Gears' it has Starscream sounding like Skywarp. Ratchet going ninja on Thundercracker and a random coconut that landed near Thundercracker's foot. The Thundercracker quote last time came from 'Countdown to Extinction'. Boy they do get some fun!


	6. City of Steel, Attack of the Autobots, Traitor and the Immobilizer

Apparently my last suggestion about starting some lists for my other colleages wasn't taken as well as I had hoped.  
Since Thundercracker was so kind as to pull me out of the wall that I had been decorating for the last six weeks I think the idea has been destroyed.  
For now.

89\. Don't pinch Skywarp's teleporter  
It is the only way you could just appear behind Megatron  
Why didn't you say anything?  
I know the Constructicons were whining enough for you  
At least your mouth wasn't hanging open

90\. Stop using clones during missions  
All they do is stand around  
It is a break from your voice  
And stupidity

91\. Don't give Skywarp's teleporter to Thundercracker  
It is just as annoying for him to appear  
Just give it back

92\. Never admit Megatron is right  
You look weak  
And we still don't listen  
Too bad Megatron didn't hear  
Though we would be hearing about that for longer  
Though you might have of become leader of the Decepticons

93\. Don't fly through the building  
It usually wins  
I know that Thundercracker and I did so too

94\. Dodge the Jet Judo  
I hate those Autobots  
Same with Thundercracker

95\. Don't say uncle  
It means that the twin won  
You still got dunked in the drink  
You needed it though  
You stunk

96\. Don't run around like a zombie  
You look like someone painted Thundercracker  
He is usually the one to stand around and follow orders  
Not you

97\. Let Skywarp take lead more often  
It was nice for a while  
Though it was too short  
I know I led the retreat after Megatron

98\. Don't allow Skywarp to destroy the energy cells  
I am apparently clumsy  
You are heavy handed  
Whatever I still like opening presents

99\. Allow Skywarp to blow things up  
Why did I have to hold the machine?  
You got to fire Megatron  
Although…  
Where Megatron has his trigger  
You can keep it

100\. Keep it mute with the 'if I were the leader speeches'  
You give us all processor aches  
And you demonstrate why you shouldn't be leader  
Though you do show Megatron has a soft side  
You haven't been slagged yet

101\. Don't fall for the oldest trick in the book  
Optimus Prime is almost never behind you  
And he would have of said something

102\. Don't take your optics off of the Autobot  
You want to face plant again  
Luckily you found Mirage  
Too bad he disappeared

103\. Use your initiative  
Move when you see one of the pit spawned twins  
You were only in the air for three seconds

105\. Don't play pinball with trees  
It is incredibly embarrassing  
And funny  
Maybe later in our quarters…  
Between Thundercracker and I

106\. Stay away when we are winning  
It was only when you walked up that the river unfroze  
Sending us downstream  
Without a paddle  
It got Thundercracker declaring revenge  
I think my logic circuits blew

Now I hope that mechs in the Nemesis will get over the fact that I had one of my insignias ripped off by that invisible Autobot fool. Or when said Autobot fool blasted me while under the cerebro shell of Bombshell.  
I know that I will never live that down.  
There is always the next attack to make mechs look like fools.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who can write rules about someone who just stands around and says nothing. In two episodes both Starscream and Thundercracker just appear in the shots from no where.


	7. The Autobot Run and Atlantis Arise

Even though I told every mech who came to me with suggestions got told to frag off there has been a box placed outside my room for just that purpose.  
Some of the suggestions…  
Well Megatron will never be the same; nor Starscream.  
I'm loving it

107\. Never be a test subject  
You're irritable  
Which makes us irritable  
Which makes Megatron twitchy  
Which makes the Constructicons pissy  
No one wins then  
You're a guinea pigatron

108\. Find a better name for our weapons  
Transfixatron  
I know that it describes it  
And that Megatron named it  
Oh just stop whining

109\. Take lessons of treachery from Skywarp  
It is my forte  
I don't know how to spell that word  
But I am defiantly better than you  
Megatron said so

110\. Log all incoming travelers from Cybertron  
When did Shockwave come to Earth?  
When did he leave?  
Where did he come from?  
I'm confused

111\. Always fly  
Why were we walking?  
It really hurts after too long  
Soundwave could of looked after them

112\. Don't demonstrate your bad aim  
Thundercracker didn't  
And neither did Megatron  
Soundwave did  
No wonder he never takes you seriously

113\. Don't prank Skywarp in battle  
First I look like Thundercracker  
Then Starscream  
The only way you could tell it was me was the teleporting

114\. Don't guess  
You know we were going to retreat  
It happens all the time  
You should know before Megatron

115\. Transform when underwater  
Jets flying underwater does look funny  
Then we hit the barrier  
Dolt!

116\. Keep alert for treachery  
Like the humans say  
It takes one to know one  
And you are the biggest traitor alive  
Even if you fail

117\. Don't fight while impaired  
The yellow runt managed to defeat you  
And the human  
This will never be spoken about again  
In your audio range

118\. Don't out another traitor  
You still won't be given credit  
And will still be insulted

119\. Don't declare someone as an enemy  
You just look desperate  
To pin the blame on someone else  
Again  
And they get the more leniency than you

120\. Don't say 'I told you so'  
It is so unbecoming  
And you take every chance you get  
And I love you for it

Seriously WHO comes up with some of these ideas…  
NOT ME!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously watch the Autobot Run in one shot you have Shockwave appearing from no where, another where Skywarp is colored like Thundercracker and Starscream and my favourite part of Megatron complimenting Skywarp on his treachery in front of Starscream. XD if you want I can do a chapter on some of these 'suggestions' that Skywarp is getting.


	8. Day of the Machines, Enter the Nightbird and A Prime Problem

This space has been intentionally left blank.  
Bite me!

121\. Either help from the beginning or continue to hide  
Don't come out just because there is fighting  
Same can be said for Thundercracker  
Soundwave did get his aft handed to him  
A lot

122\. Help Skywarp blow the roof off  
I think I pulled an aileron  
You help when we have parties  
Slacker!

123\. Don't say boobs  
Do you even know what a boob is?  
Alright so I know it means foolish mistake  
How do I know?  
Never going to tell

124\. Don't insult those who can kick your afterburners  
You were beaten by a femme  
That was built by squishies  
You will never live that down  
But we can torment some of the Autobots

125\. Find a sparring partner  
You really need it  
Not Nightbird  
And never Megatron  
Hey… Not me either

126\. No one is hotter than you  
Why do you think you are still SIC  
Or alive  
Or why I and Thundercracker put up with you

127\. Don't give Megatron more reasons to replace you  
Didn't know he had a list though  
I really don't want to place you in a cell again  
Unless it's on a berth  
With Thundercracker

128\. Don't say Megatron never gives you anything  
You got a cage  
It was meant to be a farewell present  
But you stayed

129\. Stay in your cage  
You could have at least danced a little  
Just for me  
Maybe later

130\. Don't shoot the competition  
It is quite petty  
And seriously how could she be Air Commander  
She is a stinking grounder  
Primus you're dense

131\. Make sense  
'Say goodnight to your Megatron'  
WTF

132\. Run as fast as you can  
Thundercracker and I love to chase you  
But we prefer it alone  
And where you allow us to catch you  
In the berth

133\. Don't lean over dangerous crystals  
Soundwave might push you in  
You know… if he had a processor  
And wasn't Megatron's pet

134\. Stop breaking rules  
I don't want to know how many rules you just broke  
Another brilliant deduction on my part  
Seriously

135\. Last longer than a few seconds in battle  
Optimus managed to get you on your back in seconds  
Thundercracker on his front  
And me on my side  
I looked cuter than you

136\. Keep everyone else gloriously confused  
Makes a change from you  
Or me

137\. Give more appropriate descriptions  
You are not a trusted officer  
Tough you still made it look really good

138\. Don't run away  
It's called being a deserter  
You were dragged back by you aft  
By Laserbeak  
You didn't hear Megatron out

139\. Don't hit on your clones  
It is extremely narcissistic  
Although Thundercracker and I look a lot like you  
My Processor  
I need a drink

140\. Keep that control helmet  
So fashionable  
Megatron looks good as well

Just wondering why does Megatron need another copy of Optimus Prime? It really does bring up some questions about his relationship with the Autobot leader  
Oh and please only create one clone… Sorry Thundercracker.  
My mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to wonder if anyone reviewed the tapes before screening them.


	9. The Core and The Insecticon Syndrome

La la la I can't hear you.  
Go AWAY!

141\. Don't let Megatron get too close  
What was with his hand on your shoulder vent?  
It was too comfy for me

142\. Don't comment on other mechs insane plans  
Yours always fail  
Though you have helped me with some pranks

143\. Keep your demonstrations simple  
That was nice  
How did you manage to get a perfectly round boulder?  
You didn't care about blowing us all up  
Or is it just about your perfect chassis  
Oh never mind

144\. Always plan an escape route  
You always fail on this  
That is why you always fail  
Or get yourself in trouble  
And why I am still loyal to Megatron

145\. Stay on schedule  
You know what a schedule is?  
Or how to stick to one?  
Wonders will never cease

146\. Stop nicking weapons  
Seriously where did you get the gun?  
You had them in your sights  
Thankfully Megatron didn't want you to shoot

147\. Don't mention ducks  
I hate them  
They clog up our systems  
And are hard to clean from our thrusters

148\. Do some more aerial training  
We look like those unmentionable animals with their heads cut off

149\. Get acting lessons  
Then you might be told what the strategy is  
From the beginning

150\. Don't stand around and wait to get thrown  
You are the fastest Seeker alive  
Act like it

151\. Close your mouth  
We do sometimes get along with the Autobots  
A rampaging Devastator and exploding planet are one of those times  
It is a rare occurrence  
I think I covered this before

152\. Don't fry your logic circuits  
At least until after Megatron says that he is doing it for his Deceptions  
HIS Deceptions  
AWWW he cares

153\. Don't test Megatron's patience  
Like you he doesn't have any

154\. Don't say that someone else would make a better leader  
Given up already?  
Why not Thundercracker  
Or me  
If you really have to

155\. Don't trade insults  
You sound like a fool  
What! I don't sound like a fool  
Oh this will go on for a while

Starscream's list will be back after these messages (traded insults)  
"Aft"  
"Slagger"  
"Fragger"  
"Rustbucket"  
"Turbochicken"  
"Screamer"  
"Son of a glitch"  
We know return to Starscream's list

156\. Dispense with more primitive devices  
That was fun  
Let's do it again

157\. Take more notice of your team mates  
It isn't just about you  
Soundwave had a cerebro shell  
Just because no one else noticed is not an excuse

158\. Don't get hit by a cerebro shell  
I know that everyone else did  
No excuse  
See this shows you shouldn't be leader  
Megatron wasn't hit  
Hey LOYAL Starscream  
Worth it

159\. Ask questions later  
Duck first  
Starstump

160\. Run after the traitors  
Which ones?  
Starscream or the Insecticons?  
I'm confused

I was reviewing the footage of the fight with the Insecticons and Optimus Prime had his hands over Megatron all too eagerly… then he pulled the trigger. Multiple times; must of been having fun!  
Another thought; the Insecticons had complete control over us… what in the pit happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Megatron had a few good lines in both these episodes. In 'The Core' he commented that he was saving the Earth for his Decepticons and in 'The Insecticon Syndrome' he was manhandled into transforming by Optimus. So good. Fangirl dies again! Damn anyone got a spare cause mine keep dying.


	10. Nemesis Suggestions 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the second Decepticon ship is called the Victory. At the time I wrote this I was still calling it the Nemesis. It looks the exact same.

Well I really didn't want to do this but since you sparklings have been continuously been demanding that I do this I will.  
Below are some of the suggestions that I have gotten from some of the other mechs on the Nemesis.  
I have been asked to keep them anonymous but I want to see what Starscream would do when he reads some of your suggestions.

1\. Stop 'facing your trine in public areas  
I resent this  
It is more fun  
Just because you are not getting any  
Submitted: Astrotrain

2\. Don't play stupid human games  
It makes us think you are 'facing  
Once again just because you are not getting any  
Submitted: Rumble

3\. Stop Skywarp pranking  
I love to prank  
Just because I am more creative than you  
Why not go to mommy?  
Submitted: Frenzy

4\. Stop strutting like a peacock  
You know what a peacock is?  
It isn't his fault he struts  
It is the thruster heels  
Submitted: Breakdown

5\. Get your thrusters repositioned  
I like where our thrusters are  
I know they look like high heels  
They look nice   
You're just jealous  
Submitted: Motormaster

6\. Suggestion: don't watch monitors when off duty  
It is kind of creepy  
What cameras were you watching?  
Not in the quarters  
Submitted: Soundwave

7\. Stop talking to Skyfire  
He is an Autobot  
I know that he is was your friend  
But just stop  
I cannot believe the Autobots have heard of your list  
Submitted: Wheeljack

8\. Stop harassing the Aerialbots  
Another one from the Autobots  
They are still apparently innocent  
We don't want to spoil that  
Not yet  
Submitted: Silverbolt

9\. Take your punishments like a mech  
I mean it is everyday that you get punished  
You look like a pansy  
You should get used to it  
Just please stop it with the whining  
Submitted: Megatron

10\. Contain your trine mates extra curricular activities  
We really are not that bad  
I mean  
The Coneheads are worse  
Submitted: Ramjet

11\. Stop trying to end the universe  
There are too many ways you can do this to list  
Though I do know some  
Like being loyal  
Submitted: Dead End

12\. Be nicer to the humans  
They may be squishies  
And easy to offline but they are still apparently sentient  
Limited as that might seem  
Submitted: Skyfire

13\. Stop scaring Skywarp  
I won't stop teleporting into the walls  
It is apparently annoying to other mechs  
Especially when I teleport into something I shouldn't see  
Like our esteemed Communications officer and Supreme Commander doing...  
Whoops  
Submitted: Skywarp

14\. Stop egging Sunstorm on  
We don't need a lecture on Primus  
He does tend to repeat himself  
A lot  
Submitted: Shockwave

15\. Stop stealing all the energon pastes  
Though I am not complaining  
I get to use it too  
A lot  
Submitted: Dirge

16\. Stop 'facing Megatron  
I really want to see the reaction to this rule  
Apparently Soundwave doesn't like to see what you get up to  
And everyone else is just jealous  
And they think that is how you got your position  
Submitted: Everyone (excluding Megatron)

17\. Stop using all of the polish on the Nemesis  
Some of us want shiny armor too  
And you are extremely narcissistic  
I would know  
Submitted: Dragstrip

18\. Stop 'facing with the enemy  
It is kind of treacherous  
And I do not like it  
If it isn't Thundercracker or I  
How you are still online I don't know  
Submitted: Megatron

I couldn't believe that we had some rules submitted by the Autobots; it is sad that you have a reputation even amongst the other side.  
Seriously you need to tone down a few things.  
Now to watch as Starscream tears his way through our ranks in response for these rules.  
I hope that I make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who gave me a fangirl they are currently being put to good use.. I would like to thank OrianPrime92 for her help with rule I. Yeah it was originally just going to be from Decepticons but I wrote in some submissions from the Autobots and I was bored.


	11. Nemesis Suggestions 2

Well seeing as though there was a great response to the suggestions that I took in the last time I have extended the list further.  
Though what happened to Astrotrain was too enjoyable and too horrific to write… though I have a feeling that it wasn't Starscream that did it.  
I didn't do it either.

19\. Stop sitting in Megatron's throne  
He keeps on getting annoyed about how you change the impression on the cushion  
And how your wings keep scratching it  
And apparently the Autobots keep mocking him  
Keep doing it  
Suggested: Megatron

20\. Stop telling Rumble nonsense  
It annoys Soundwave  
Who annoys Megatron  
Though it isn't always you  
Suggested: Frenzy

21\. No more energon benders  
Spoilsport  
Just because we painted him doesn't mean that he should ban them  
Ok so the colors we chose were horrible  
I mean purple and orange  
Suggested: Megatron

22 Stop making suggestions about the combiners  
Yes they have their enemies   
And they get awfully close  
Doesn't mean that they are fragging each other  
Yet…  
Suggested: Constructicons, Combaticons and Stunticons

23\. Ignore the rules  
This suggestion says that it was written by Thundercracker  
But I know your handwriting Starscream  
I am not that dumb  
Suggested: Starscream

24\. Stop making up stories about your immortality  
You're mortal like the rest of us  
Just get over it  
Yeah I know that I will get proved wrong  
Just not yet  
Suggested: Thundercracker

25\. Stop imitating the squishies  
We are above that  
Also we are a technologically more advanced race  
We want you act like it  
And get us the Playstation 4  
Suggested: Scrapper

26\. Stop irritating Shockwave  
He spent four million years alone  
He has a reason for being insecure  
And needy  
Do what Megatron does…  
Give him to Soundwave  
Suggested: Acid Storm

27\. Stop playing solitaire on the Nemesis consoles  
You're supposed to be working  
It was your fault the Autobot spy got through  
We all know it  
Even if you did work hard to cover it up  
The only time you do work hard  
Other than to betray Megatron  
Suggested: Dirge

28\. Stop suggesting that we get an above ground base  
Yes we know half the army is claustrophobic  
Megatron likes to see us squirm  
And it keeps you in line  
For a time at least  
Suggested: Scavenger

29\. Stop stalking Bluestreak  
It is creepy  
You know he hates Seekers  
Do you have an obsession with him or something?  
The answer is none of your business  
Suggested: Prowl

30\. Get more friends who are not Autobots  
Red Alert won't stop fretting  
Apparently he feels like it is treason  
Or something  
Suggested: Inferno

31\. Desist in giving Soundwave Itunes cards  
You know it just irritates him  
If that is possible  
He will stick Ravage on you  
Suggested: Soundwave

32\. Stop paralyzing mechs during 'facing  
Yes we know that you don't mean it  
And that it was just to get what you want  
It still hurts  
And depending where I get hit means I can't perform as well  
And then you get annoyed  
Suggested: Skywarp

Well that is it for another go at the suggestions that we have gotten here at the Nemesis. Unfortunately most were destroyed in the Null Ray accident of 1985.  
If you still want to have something please send it back in as you know where the box is located.  
Outside my quarters.  
Well until Starscream blows it up again.  
And again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm too lazy to actually watch Transformers so I wrote another suggestion chapter. Also upgraded the PlayStation from 3 to 4


	12. Nemesis Suggestions 3

Slow month means fewer rules so I have to resort to the suggestions that have survived Starscream's rampage.  
That and have some more written up.

33\. Stop using the Ark as a vacation area  
We know that Megatron likes to beat you  
Doesn't mean that you don't deserve it  
Or that the Autobots want to see your face  
Suggested: Prowl

34\. Stop painting yourself and acting like a human jet  
It doesn't fool anyone  
And Megatron still finds a way to beat you  
And the humans won't stop complaining  
Suggested: Spike Witwicky

35\. Stop burning the suggestions  
If you don't like the rules then stop being an aft  
Well the pit would freeze over first  
Or the universe will fall into darkness  
We still love you  
Suggested: Skywarp

36\. Stop drugging mechs  
The Autobots don't find it funny  
Neither do the Decepticons  
Yes sugar is a drug  
Skywarp doesn't need Ritalin  
Red Alert doesn't need Prozac  
Just stop  
Suggested: Everyone

37\. Keep Skywarp away from paint  
Especially in orange  
Or purple  
Just no paint.  
I hate you all  
Suggested: Scavenger

38\. Smile more  
You are more likeable  
To other mechs  
Though you will still look more like a femme  
Kidding  
Suggested: Thundercracker

39\. Don't beat up Skywarp  
It is only a list  
Megatron asked me to do it  
Please  
Suggested: Skywarp

Thundercracker here.  
Unfortunately Starscream managed to get to Skywarp before he finished the list. I don't have the same wish to end up in med bay so you will please excuse him for the delay.  
It has been boring in the Nemesis and we have had to find things that will keep us entertained and unfortunately it usually ends up in the med bay.  
Usually with the help of Starscream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just dumping them up


	13. Nemesis Suggestions 4

Finally out of med bay and I Skywarp the unbeatable has decided to go against all the odds and continue the list.  
Megatron loves the list and has given Starscream harsh penalties if I sustain any damage that can be linked to him.  
Just makes him more creative.

40\. The spacebridge is not the Stargate.  
If it was it would be better guarded…  
By squishies  
And the Stargate is fictional  
Stop watching human TV  
Suggested: Soundwave

41\. Stop suggesting that you can be in two places  
Can't happen  
Unless you can create a hologram  
Then it is fake  
Just because I have seen something in the shadow…  
Too sparkly  
And it is creepy  
Suggested: Scavenger

42\. Stop telling lies about Unicron  
We all know it is a myth  
There is no such thing as a giant transformer  
The newbie's don't need to hear this  
Barricade doesn't need jumpy recruits  
We don't need jumpy recruits  
Suggested: Barricade

43\. Stop complaining about the Nemesis  
Sure it is underwater  
And the Autobots know about it  
It is still home  
And it is only as good as it was built  
Which you helped on  
Suggested: Reflector

44\. Don't sing songs on end just to irritate  
These include:  
-The Never Ending Song  
\- Barbie Girl  
\- YMCA  
\- The Brady Bunch theme song  
\- Polka Power  
\- Your Horoscope for Today  
\- Ect  
The mechs here have enough processor problems  
Your voice…  
Not made to sing  
Suggested: Astrotrain

45\. Never make up nicknames  
These include:  
\- Megatron: Trigger Crotch, Bucket Head or Cannon Brains  
-Soundwave: Pet, Decepticon Daycare or Munchkin Leader  
\- Shockwave: Gestalt Gun, Slagshot or Loner  
\- Thundercracker: Emo  
\- Skywarp: The Undoomer, Feet-in-Floor or Miss Heat Seeker  
It is derogatory  
And some we just don't understand  
Suggested: Shockwave

46\. No rubber duckies  
For some reason Megatron has a thing for them  
Ever since we landed on Earth  
You have been exaggerating this obsession  
Stop it  
Suggested: Frenzy

47\. Stop placing bombs in Megatron's throne  
This also goes for:  
\- Megatron's berth  
\- On Megatron  
\- On Soundwave  
\- In Megatron's cleaning facilities  
\- In Megatron's cannon  
\- In your berth  
Still don't understand why your own berth  
Or Soundwave  
The betting poll is that you are insane  
Suggested: Megatron

48\. Stop buying off of the human TV  
We don't have hair  
Or need to work out  
Or eat human food  
I still don't understand how you get it here  
I mean we live under the sea.  
Suggested: Blitzwing

49\. No dancing while on guard duty  
It distracts the other guards  
You do have a nice aft  
Especially the Cha Cha  
Suggested: Skywarp

50\. Stop playing games in the elevators  
Including:  
\- Talking to no one  
\- Saying ding at every level  
\- Asking the same question every five seconds  
\- Leaving something in the elevator  
\- Asking if the other can smell something  
\- Saying oops  
-Adding extra levels onto the Nemesis  
\- Acting even more insane than usual  
\- Ect  
It is annoying  
And Hook is getting worried about your processor health  
Suggested: Hook

51\. Stop working so hard  
It is getting in the way of your… other activities  
Skywarp is getting needy again  
And you are more of an aft  
And Megatron still isn't happy with you  
Suggested: Thundercracker

52\. Stop taking on the twins you end up in a wall and I don't want to fix you. This goes for ALL Seekers.  
We all blame Ramjet  
Who weirdly enough likes Jet Judo  
Must be because it involves his two favorite activities  
Crashing and 'facing  
Why don't we bring you the twins and you can take it out on them?  
Suggested: Hook

Hopefully this will be the last of the Nemesis suggestions and that we go back to raiding energy facilities so that I can chronicle his various and colourful failures.  
As all this waiting is getting severely boring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I have been meaning to get back on the horse and watch the cartoon but I don't seem interested. I would like to thank OrianPrime92 for her fantastic suggestion.


	14. Dinobot Island and The Master Builder

Well it is official Powerglide is the most annoying and overrated flyer that was ever sparked and that is above me I mean you don't hear me ripping off Earth movies or Earth plane hostesses. He is kind of a femme.  
Since we have been on more raids the Nemesis Suggestions have been postponed… So Starscream please stop blowing up my door.

161\. Stop taking drugs  
Seriously when you didn't retort to Megatron's comment  
He compared Soundwave to you  
Actually…  
Keep taking them

162\. Save the techno babble  
You know Megatron never listens to you  
And you love to say 'I told you so'  
On another note…  
When did Thrust get here?

163\. Stop quibbling  
Megatron made me put this one in  
You know that if you say something worries you he will do the opposite  
That is just how he is  
Once again…  
When did Ramjet and Blitzwing get here?

164\. Don't talk about omens  
We are Cybertronians we don't believe in omens  
And you got smacked down  
On your aft  
Don't you spend more time there than in the air?

165\. Continue the energy collection  
Continue what?  
You were just standing next to Megatron  
Quibbling  
Wasn't there a rule in place against that?

166\. When you see Dinobots attack at once  
Yeah I know I said that  
And that Megatron said no  
We get no fun

167\. Stop it with the gobbledygook.  
Seriously…  
You have to wonder about our leader  
And his vocabulary.  
On that you do trump him

168\. Don't be so subservient  
It doesn't suit you  
And this error of Megatron's  
Will still not make you Decepticon Leader  
We still prefer him

169\. Stop panicking  
Wait that was you panicking?  
You sounded normal  
So does that mean you are panicking all the time?

170\. Give less obvious commands  
Attack from the sky?  
We're jets where else would we attack from  
The ground?  
Far too good for that  
Serously…  
Where did Dirge come from?

171\. Don't just stand there  
You got owned by a Dinosaur  
Along with….  
Ok every one  
So it wasn't one of our best defeats

172\. Don't play with that fool Powerglide  
Help a fallen mate instead  
I know he is irritating  
And talks about himself  
Why do you think I attacked him?

173\. Don't talk about dismantling traitors  
Especially in front of Megatron  
He would just think of you  
And you love yourself too much to be dismantled  
And you are too good in the berth.

174\. Use your Null Rays  
What did we do raid the armory?  
Steal weapons off our comrades?  
When did the Decepticons get so many guns?  
And why were the Seekers holding them?  
We have two of our own.

Well it is good to know that other mechs plans can go horribly wrong. Soundwave I love the suggestion at the end but can you please not hack into my computer I mean there is a box outside my door that I know you know about. Use it.  
And Ramjet try not to get hit by Devastator next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got my G1 box set out and watched enough to write two chapters for the List. I would like to thank OrianPrime92 for the Nemesis Suggestion.


	15. Auto Berserk and Microbots

Well I am back again after spending way too much time in the brig for believing in Starscream's failed attempt to mark the Constructicons as traitors and pointing our non regulatory weapons.  
Why Ramjet got away I will never know

175\. Stop favoring Ramjet  
I am in your Trine  
So why Thundercracker and not I?  
Just because…  
I hate you

176\. Make sense  
Away… fools… before collide… we  
Having an off day are we?  
Or one too many hits to the helm?

177\. Don't talk until the smoke has cleared  
You ran into a stone wall  
I can see clearly now the smoke has gone…  
Ok I will stop singing  
My voice is better for it anyway

178\. When shot down get up and move  
We are not going back for you  
No matter who you claim to be  
And it is just claiming

179\. Stop trying to make Megatron regret things  
He loves to leave you behind  
Until the point where you come back  
Again…  
And again …  
And again…  
And again…

180\. Don't give sanctuary to Autobots  
How he didn't recognise your vocals I have no clue  
Must have been the glitch.

181\. Don't talk about your feelings  
We all know what they are  
And just because an Autobot was stupid enough to listen…  
Just means that they don't hear about it day in and out  
And who is jealous of your superiority?

182\. Show your deceptive side more  
I mean that was excellent how you convinced Red Alert  
Maybe you should use it more  
We are all sick of your usual whining

183\. Don't follow Autobots  
How does it look to Megatron?  
You are seriously a traitor  
Ok kidding

184\. Don't call out Megatron's name whenever you see him  
Just remember that he is always pissed at you  
You really do just remember it  
I mean you yell it out enough

185\. Only Null Ray mechs when it is beneficial  
Red Alert would have been more help if you hadn't  
Although he would have exploded on you  
And as much as we hate it…  
We don't want to see you go…  
Just yet.

186\. Stop slapping the wrong faction symbols on mechs  
Perceptor is not a Decepticon   
Soundwave is not an Autobot  
I know that I dared you  
It is not an excuse

187\. Don't rise to Rumbles bait  
He is so short you don't have to  
And you know he is a punk  
Just kick him and it will be over.

188\. Don't bring pets on the Nemesis  
We don't need a mascot  
We have Ravage for that  
Although you do look good with the snake wrapped around you  
Maybe a feather boa will do

189\. When told to introduce yourself  
No need to be rude to the squishies  
Thundercracker did  
Don't have to look smug too

190\. Don't drink high grade  
I know it was the good stuff  
Thundercracker is a light weight though I do agree with him  
That stuff was the greatest.  
And hearing about Cybertron from a drunk Megatron  
Priceless  
Also seeing Laserbeak fly under the influence… sweet.

Well even though we did waste some energon under the thought that we would rule Earth and I agree that getting smashed was not the smartest idea.  
The DUIs that were given to Megatron (ignored and never paid) later that week was priceless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunken behavior in a children's TV show well done. I cannot get over that episode with Megatron remaniscing about 'good old Cybertron' and their 'ugly Earth disguises' yes it is Earth not any other variations Megatron was drunk enough to slur his words. And Thundercracker falling over from one cube after stating that it was the greatest was funny. Should have had more episodes like that.


	16. Megatron's Master Plan and The Desertion of the Dinobots

I know that I once may have said that the Nemesis suggestions had finished and then wrote one on the bottom well I have one thing to say to that.  
Haven't any of you seen a hypocrite?  
Other than that back to the list.

191\. Use your Trine  
Come on Screamer it's getting crowded in here  
Thundercracker is really irritating when he gets cabin fever  
We wouldn't have gone for the humans  
Much…

192\. Stop creating energon containers  
That's why we have Soundwave  
When did you learn to make them?  
When did the Coneheads learn?  
Why haven't I?  
The answer is not because I am stupid

193\. Stop stating it is a trap  
What do you want a big sign above the trap  
Would defeat the purpose of the trap  
But hey…  
You would still fall for it

194\. Blow up the tanks faster  
Took you long enough to stop cowering  
They can't hurt you  
And they called for the Autobots

195\. Fire back  
I swear this rule is in here at least twice  
You never learn  
Is something going on between you and thrust?

196\. Stop purging  
It was only an act  
It really wasn't real  
I know that Megatron sounded weird   
But hey…  
It is for the humans

197\. Continue with the synchronized shooting lessons  
Landing – Perfect  
Aim – Needs work  
Really could have done better with me and Thundercracker

198\. Relax more often  
Hey even Soundwave was relaxing  
That rarely happens  
Well before the pit freezes over at least

199\. Never imitate Optimus Prime  
You and Megatron suck at it  
And Soundwave sucks at imitating you  
Though I still say it should have been Dirge and Ramjet in the suits  
They were uncomfortable  
My wings still hurt

200\. Stop questioning Megatron  
It only gets you an insult  
Either about your bravery  
Or your intellect

201\. When possible hit the humans  
We're really not caring anymore  
I mean the Coneheads don't  
Thundercracker and I didn't want to get squishy in our thrusters

202\. Don't anticipate orders  
You don't know what they would be  
The seconds you spent talking you could have been flying  
The kill count would have been higher too

203\. Stop taking hits  
Seriously Hook is complaining that you are the main casualty  
Either that or get a new color scheme  
It is a massive target

204\. Stop putting Soundwave in weird places  
The back of Ironhide's alt mode to be more precise  
He was there with Blaster for hours  
How Blaster managed to miss that I have no clue  
Or how Ironhide tolerated Blaster and Ravage tumbling around either  
Just plain weird

205\. Use discretion  
Haven't you been screeching about how we should use it more?  
But then again I don't listen to you

206\. Use a door  
I know they are for Autobots but still they are there for a reason  
I also know that Megatron does it more

207\. Make sure it isn't a hologram  
Even though Soundwave is just as gullible means nothing  
At least he didn't overload from the music  
Jazz must be happy about that

208\. Don't Null Ray yourself  
I didn't know that your Null Ray worked on yourself  
I know it rebounded off the Dinobot but who cares  
Shouldn't your circuits be immune?  
Maybe a flaw you should correct

209\. Plan your takeover attempts  
You flew into the energon cubes  
And you know Megatron will do anything  
Just to spite you

Nemesis Suggestion 4.1  
53\. Stop watching human TV  
Wasn't this covered in rule n?  
You cannot bend the elements.  
The Last Airbender has been banned from the Nemesis  
Just because you are a scientist doesn't mean that you should create something  
You're scaring Ratbat and Rumble  
And Skywarp...  
Suggested: Soundwave

Well at least this list had some excellent material with Soundwave grooving with humans in a dance along with the first ever instance of Decepticon synchronized shooting, should be an Olympic sport.  
Got to go as Thundercracker offered to massage my wings which are still sore from when we had to imitate the Autobots. Hopefully it goes on to something more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These four episodes were awesome with Soundwave and Blaster in the back of Ironhide to Starscream claiming leadership because Megatron couldn't talk. Although I did want to vomit when the Decepticons were playing nice it was just too nice.


	17. Blaster Blues and A Decepticon Raider in King Arthurs Court

Nothing to report.  
Though Soundwave is starting to get annoyed at all my comments about him being boring. Luckily all he does is stare creepily at everyone.

210\. Don't threaten  
It really doesn't suit your vocals  
Thundercracker, Megatron and I yes  
You never

211\. Watch out for Ramjet  
The fool will ram anything and everything  
He just likes to ram things  
It is in his name after all

212\. Ignore Rumble  
Really all he is good for is earthquakes  
Even then he can be beaten  
Listen to Frenzy  
He is the technical one

213\. Don't just run into things  
You don't know where any of the other exits are  
And you got stuck  
Just because Ravage is the most intelligent of the cassettes  
Means nothing

214\. Don't just press any button  
Once again your scientific processor is being called into question  
You had no clue what it did  
You expect this slag from Rumble  
Or even Ramjet

215\. Notice your surroundings  
Didn't even see the foliage had changed  
Or that they were humans in armor  
Seriously…  
You call yourself the pride of Cybertron?

216\. Stop bad mouthing Megatron  
It gets really old  
1451 years old now  
Though it is nice to know you can count

217\. Stop talking about world domination  
There is enough of it around with just your human 'friend'  
And really it gets older than the bad mouthing

218\. Stop acting like a sparkling  
Stomping when things don't go your way is bad enough  
You didn't participate  
So that is your fault  
Though I do like Ramjet's new nose

219\. Don't try to take off when you have no energy  
You look like a fool  
Or so Ramjet says  
Rumble could only laugh at the sight

220\. Don't cough  
You sound like a femme  
And it gives everyone else blackmail material  
Even if you never pay what they demand

221\. Don't demand gold  
Seriously I had you pegged more as a silver mech  
Though it makes a nice ring  
What happened to the jewels?

222\. Make a list of who is to energise when  
Rumble still won't shut up about how you stopped him  
Ravage is irritably growling  
Maybe you shouldn't annoy Soundwave for a while

223\. Continue to give Ramjet menial tasks  
All those hits to the helm have a serious effect  
He is dumb  
And yes Screamer he is dumber than I am  
Not that I am dumb

224\. Keep the bird shit  
Really is your look  
All that white goo against your black helm  
Ravage gave us the video   
Never going to stop playing it  
Although I have to say it  
It really does make Rumble look nicer

225\. Never use a cauldron  
The image of you with a cauldron  
Makes you look like a mythological witch  
And with your voice  
You really are evil  
Nice gunpowder though

226\. Get into the battle  
Just yelling 'fire' is not commanding  
You are not 'Lord' Starscream  
Just Lord Idiotic Screamer

227\. Don't talk about magic  
Just because you don't believe in it   
Doesn't mean it doesn't exist

228\. Don't glomp Megatron  
You really are a fool  
Just because you are back doesn't mean he wants you all over him

229\. Stop trying to send Megatron insane  
I know it is one of your ways to gain the leadership  
But really  
Who wants to spend the rest of time with you in command?  
Or an insane Megatron?

Well I would like to thank Ramjet, Rumble and Ravage for bringing back some of the most awesome footage the Decepticons have ever seen.  
Bird shit Screamer will live forever in our memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I have to say that this had to be one of my fav chapters. And a thanks to DitzyMusicLover who predicted rule 228, I had already written this list up when I posted chapter 16. Well have fun.


	18. The Golden Lagoon and The God Gambit

It is with sadness in my spark that I have to report the footage that Ravage, Rumble and Ramjet came back with concerning Starscream has met an unfortunate end.  
Megatron has thoroughly beaten Starscream for depriving him of his favorite video. Though no one seems to have noticed Soundwave laughing in that extremely creepy way that he has.  
Too bad.

230\. Don't give command to Blitzwing  
Or the Coneheads  
They just screw everything up  
Worse than what we do

231\. Go get your own proof  
Personally Megatron doesn't care what you need  
Neither does anyone else  
Wasn't Thrust enough proof…  
Proof of how stupidity can work

232\. When told be a test subject  
I mean come on it was for invulnerability  
If it worked you wouldn't have been injured  
Look at Thrust…  
Ok so he was already damaged in the processor

233\. Stop telling Megatron what to do  
Once again I am certain this is already in  
He will shoot you anyway  
Your vocals are just annoying

234\. Kill anyone who plays 'Name that Seeker'  
I know we looked alike without our colours  
Doesn't mean you can make fun of us  
We will sic Starscream on you  
And he is quite violent

235\. Say something  
We really need to know who is who  
It is getting annoying with Megatron beating me  
And Thundercracker  
Instead of you  
So just own up to your own screw ups

236\. Don't send Electrum to Shockwave  
We don't know what he wants with it  
And that is kind of scary  
And will possibly come and burn you on the aft

237\. Don't put on anymore entertainment  
Unless it is you being beaten by Megatron  
And you are not the 'ace of the air'  
And you let the prisoners escape  
What a fool

238\. When we attack Omega Supreme you lead  
Always  
Even when not coated with Electrum  
You are the fool  
And expendable

239\. Don't punish me or Thundercracker  
It wasn't our fault that the prisoners escaped  
You were in charge  
And it was your honour  
So once again suck it up

240\. Notice the dummies earlier  
Maybe you could have stopped the Autobots getting to the Electrum  
How did they coat Omega Supreme?  
The pool isn't that big  
And your thrusters are on fire  
We can now identify who is who

241\. Stop ranting Starscream  
What the hell are you talking about?  
Seriously you could have just said where are the people?

242\. Don't allow Astrotrain to be the god  
Where the hell were his tracks?  
You got your aft handed to you by a mere Triple changer  
So funny

243\. Practice your aiming  
You couldn't hit Omega Supreme with that shot  
Let alone the squishy that you were aiming for

245\. Watch your back  
The Autobots are wilier than you  
They will take any shot  
Even ones you wouldn't

246\. Stop playing with crystals  
It is something a sparkling would do  
And you are not supposed to be a sparkling  
Well with your processor

247\. You are not a god  
Bitchy – yes  
Constantly changing your processor – yes  
Expect us to bow down – yes  
Traitorous – yes  
Coward – yes  
Intelligent – Maybe  
God – No

248\. Don't get pinned  
You were beaten by Jazz  
It was a one on one fight  
You were bound to lose  
Thrust didn't help  
He went to Astrotrain  
Who actually did help

249\. Don't assume the Autobot will not help  
They will do everything for the weak squishies  
Even deactivate themselves  
Which we hope will be soon

250\. Don't look so stunned  
You should have expected something like this  
They are Autobots  
It is basically in their job descriptions  
And once again you got your afts handed to you  
Leaving destruction in your wake

Even on the moon Titan Starscream manages to get his aft handed to him. Astrotrain and Starscream are now occupying the brig while Thrust has been given as much Energon as he can drink since he brought us the video of Starscream being pinned by Jazz.  
It is days like these that it is good being a Decepticon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like writing this list.


	19. Make Tracks, Childs Play and Quest for Survival

Well fortunately Ravage held a backup copy of the footage from the past so whoever destroyed the first copy is probably really fragged.  
I still recon it was Soundwave since it depicts his two eldest creations in a somewhat interesting way.

251\. Stop selling movie rights  
We all saw the billboard in New York  
Advertising the Transformers movie  
We know it was you  
The Autobots would have done it for free

252\. Destroy your tails  
Seriously it took you that long  
And they are only mediocre flyers  
Find their weak spots

253\. Don't shop  
You are too much of a femme already  
Not as if you could fit into anything  
Other than random destruction

254\. Make a quick getaway  
They lost you three times  
You just wanted to play with them  
When you do take a different direction

255\. Stop playing with humans  
Decepticon baseball is not as fun  
Nor is Decepticon catch  
Ravage looked like he was having fun

256\. Get out of the space bridge  
You don't know what could happen  
Especially with Perceptor fiddling with the controls  
You could end up anywhere  
And he is supposedly smarter than you

257\. Don't shoot what you don't know  
Unless you want to be stuck under the marble again  
Screamer vs. the giant alien marble  
And you wonder why no one came to your help  
And it is worse than Soundwave and the giant kitty  
Or Thrust and the sea monster  
Or Ravage and the alien plant

258\. Stop changing your colours  
Once again I know how attractive I am  
But I don't like you stealing my colours  
Even if it is an effect through glass

259\. Don't call Ravage an oaf  
He is more graceful than you are  
And way more effective  
Why did you allow Thrust to try an escape?  
Even if it failed

260\. Don't fire when you are hiding  
You will draw notice to yourself  
And I can't say you look funny  
Since I look exactly like you

261\. Stop pretending to be butterflies  
You will be dissected  
That will not be pleasant  
Although you looked like one before  
So no change

262\. Kick em while they are down  
It really is the only way you can beat Prime  
Either that or while he is in recharge  
But not in a fair fight

263\. Really stop nicking our colours  
Thundercracker doesn't like it either  
At least you can't take the Coneheads  
That would be really sad

264\. Look before you speak  
When you said that there couldn't be any green monsters  
Look around  
Those Alligators didn't like to be insulted  
Neither does Devastator

265\. Keep on following the rules  
You finally took Thundercracker and I out  
Instead of the Coneheads  
Yay!  
Ok you will stop if I continue like this

266\. Don't question Megatron's courage  
Or his patience  
He did have a point with the alien plants  
The shot rebounded  
You shot yourself

267\. Continue standing there with your cockpit open  
It only intensifies what an attractive Seeker you are  
Even with the Coneheads  
I thought Megatron liked us like that  
But apparently not in that situation

268\. Continue doing what Megatron says  
I know that you did it only to spite him  
But…  
It is nice to see you doing it

Once again I am in thanks of those who brought the video of Starscream vs. the giant marble, Soundwave being chased by the giant kitty, Ravage and the living plant and Thrust with the sea monster. It was also irritatingly cute to see Ravage use a wheel like a mouse.  
I had a bet with Thundercracker that the footage will only last a week, he says two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the scene where Megatron yells at the Coneheads to stop standing with their cockpits open it was funny. And you have to admit Starscream vs. the giant alien marble was funny. Why are some of the funniest scenes in Transformers about Starscream?


	20. The Secret of Omega Supreme, The Gambler and Kremzeek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did merge this story with MSN Madness. Didn't have much to work with

Well in the supposedly private bet between Thundercracker and me, the winner turned out to be Starscream who had placed a bet that the footage wouldn't last a day.  
Of course he had to be disqualified since he was the one to destroy it in the first place. Well the known copy anyway.

270\. Don't create Autobot cutouts  
It is creepy to see them just standing there  
And it is the only way that Megatron would allow one in the control room  
Especially the blasted twins  
They are good for one thing  
Reflex training

271\. Don't create cutouts of yourself  
It is good that you are not using the clones or copies  
It is still creepy  
And we don't know if it is you  
So you hit us if it is  
And there have been some disturbing incidents  
Like in the berth

272\. Walk into a room don't sway  
It is ruining your reputation as a mech  
And it goes against your mouth  
Which we ignore anyway

273\. Don't interrupt other mechs while they are working  
Especially Megatron  
You hate it when I interrupt you  
I just hate you interrupting my pranks  
Or my alone time with Thundercracker

274\. Send a Constructicon  
If you need something technical send them  
Mechs actually listen to them  
I guess no one wants to irritate their medics  
Even Megatron

275\. Don't step back  
It is a sign of weakness  
Good thing you were standing behind Megatron  
So he couldn't see you properly

276\. Don't alter your fellow Seekers  
How did you manage to get Megatron into Thrust?  
And he wasn't in his gun form  
Where was he sitting?  
This is the clean version  
Thundercracker edited to make certain

277\. Stop teaching Kremzeek  
He is picking up some of your bad habits  
Like throwing himself continuously at something that doesn't move  
Like Optimus Prime or Megatron  
Still want to see you rub your aft like that

278\. Stay in a room longer than five seconds  
You were in the control room  
Don't you run tests in the control room?  
Or does Soundwave need someone to hold his hand?

279\. Keep on testing  
You don't know what may happen  
Like your stupidity  
But knowing Megatron  
He has already had Soundwave do something about that

280\. Don't knick a battle mask  
Or is it a gag  
Then I like it  
Soundwave doesn't like being mocked  
And what he doesn't like  
His runts don't like  
Have fun with that

281\. When you see Kremzeek run  
Especially a giant Kremzeek  
Don't wait for Megatron  
Just take to the air

Nemesis Suggestions 4.2

54\. Don't refer to Kremzeek as your creation  
Or as Megatron its co creator  
It is creepy  
And you want to save that for when you do spawn  
Suggestion: Soundwave

55\. Reign Skywarp in  
His pranks are getting out of hand  
And it is driving Soundwave up the walls  
It is a bad example to Rumble and Frenzy  
Suggestion: Ravage

56\. Get a hobby  
Other than stabbing mechs in the back and treason  
We know that you are an ok artist  
And sculptor  
Suggested: Hook

57\. Stop going on MSN  
We know it is you  
The username Ghost _ Seeker fools no one  
We will get you in the act  
Suggested: Megatron

58\. Stop changing Megatron's username  
Trigger _ Crotch is offensive  
Trigger _ Happy _ Trigger _ Crotch is even worse  
We know how creative you are  
So come up with something new  
Suggested: Megatron

Unfortunately with Starscream in the brig for so long there hasn't been enough to make a decent rule out of though the Nemesis rules have gotten to the point where I should write them up.  
I still prefer this list before I saved over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch the episode KREMZEEK! it is awesome. And this chapter was so hard since Starscream really only appeared in KREMZEEK!. Oh and in The Secret of Omega Supreme you see Sideswipe standing next to Megatron in the Nemesis and it can't be a mistake as he is standing there for too long. Funny what you can pick up.


	21. Sea Change, Triple Takeover

Well hopefully the Nemesis Suggestions that I added at the bottom of the previous list ensured that I was not the target of malicious acts from any of the Decepticons and for some reason more than one Autobot.  
And next time I have to try not to overwrite what I had already done. It is far too hard rewriting this list.

282\. Stop making excuses for not being in battle  
Some of the following are now forbidden  
I was tied to the berth  
I was drunk  
You did it when you were drunk  
It was Rumbles fault  
I didn't mean to  
It was Thundercracker/Skywarp in my colours  
Go to the pit

283\. Don't build monuments  
Who put Megatron's face in?  
Starscream your face looks like TC, Acid Storm, Cumulous, High Voltage, Sunstorm and my own  
So it could be anyone's  
Still some great weapons work

284\. Don't spoil your work  
I know the Triple Changers helped  
But since you are Air Commander you take priority  
And are in charge  
Could have put my face up instead

285\. Find the right time  
Enough is enough   
Your whining is annoying  
Either overthrow Megatron  
Or declare yourself a failure

286\. Watch the Triple Changers  
They seemed to have gotten tired of only doing menial tasks  
And they have taken after you  
With you treachery

287\. Listen more to Astrotrain  
He sometimes comes up with a few nuggets of knowledge  
'No planet ever lost its orbit underestimating the stupidity of Starscream'  
Never words spoken so true  
Though you were easy to rope in

288\. Don't be bait  
Yeah I have nothing for this one  
You are just an idiot

289\. Make up better lies  
'A secret Autobot power station'  
In a sewer?  
You can tell by his voice that Megatron didn't believe you  
Though just wondering  
How did you find a tunnel big enough for you and Megatron?

290\. Come up with better reasoning  
It just seems as though you are beating Megatron down with words  
And after a while one word runs into the next   
And soon you are wishing for your audios to turn off  
Or deactivation  
Whichever one is quicker

291\. Play Megatron more often  
You may get slammed into a wall  
But it is worth it  
Although this brings something to processor  
The Decepticons will follow Starscream, but only out of curiosity  
Seems to apply here

292\. Check your escape routes  
Don't you even think that someone might have it out for you?  
I mean you are SIC  
And would take over if Primus forbid something happens to Megatron  
In other words…  
Let someone else take out Megatron

293\. Come up with better plans than the Triple Changers  
A maze?  
An army of trains?  
I mean come on  
It wasn't going to work

294\. Ignore Thundercracker  
You pinch our colours enough  
So he decided to use yours  
Though why I don't know

295\. Don't wait to get strangled  
We all know you like it  
Weirdo

296\. Don't blame the Triple Changers  
They were only following your example  
Hoping that they wouldn't get deactivated  
I mean look at you  
Ok…  
You are too screwed up to be an example

297\. Fly up out of the sewer  
You wouldn't have had your hand crushed then  
Or looked like a fool  
Well more of a fool than usual

298\. Admit you are stupid more often  
Finally we have the truth out of Starscream  
…  
And the pit froze over  
The universe is at an end  
Unicron is coming  
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE

299\. Go after the Triple Changers  
Not Prime  
He doesn't go into domestic squabbles anyway  
And we all know that Megatron will win  
He always does.

300\. You are recyclable  
Even if you agreed with Megatron  
Still doesn't mean you won't end up in the brig

301\. Don't take on Devastator  
He took down Megatron  
And you just get smacked down  
Then everyone turns on you

302\. The Decepticon cause supersedes personal vendettas  
Hey we finally found something out  
Why Megatron hasn't deactivated you  
Here we thought it was because you were good in the berth  
Seems as though he was keeping the pleasure for later

Nemesis Suggestions 4.3

59\. Don't test aphrodisiacs before a meeting  
Megatron forced me to put this one in  
Most of the army love the displays  
Though not when we are low in Energon  
Suggested: Megatron

60\. You cannot whore yourself out  
Even if it is for Energon  
You are too tired for us  
Suggested: Skywarp and Thundercracker

61\. Stop pulling Megatron's trigger crotch  
Your wing mates are getting jealous  
And so is Soundwave  
Which was not expected  
Suggested: Dirge, Thrust and Ramjet

62\. Stop whoring yourself outside the Ark   
The Autobots are complaining  
Well all but Skyfire  
And the Arialbots  
Though Megatron was against this rule since it distracted the Autobots  
And gave him something to gloat about  
Suggested: All grounder Autobots

Well at least that was one mystery solved now all we have to do is find out just where Optimus Primes trailer goes when he transforms.  
I say that Prowl subspaces it up his aft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank 9aza and OrianPrime92 for giving me prompts on the Nemesis Suggestions.


	22. Prime Target, Auto-bop and The Search for Alpha Trion

Freakily enough this list has gotten a bad review from someone other than Starscream and since it was not signed I cannot find out who was coward enough. Soundwave had also refused to find out the culprit since I think he finds it funny.  
That doesn't mean that Megatron won't find out whom.

303\. Don't point out how long we've been on this mud ball  
We really don't want to know  
Especially since we all want to go home

304\. Stop spending so much time on your aft  
You are a Seeker  
We are sparked for the air  
Yet you spend more time on your aft after getting knocked over

305\. Learn from your mistakes  
Well at least you stood a few feet away from Megatron this time  
You still got smacked down  
And put into the med bay  
Then into the brig

306\. Don't paint Soundwave's battle mask  
It is white not dark grey  
Seriously he looks weird with it any other colour  
Or…  
You could have at least done it a bright yellow

307\. Roster on better patrols  
How do you miss the Autobots?  
I mean they are expensive cars that almost no one can afford  
And not to mention dinosaurs, cassette deck, space shuttle and flying saucer

308\. Plan out your termination attempts  
I mean an out of control train  
Sounds like something Astrotrain would do  
And it has a very low chance of success

309\. Don't talk to humans  
Allow Soundwave to do that  
I mean we do keep him around for something  
You know other than his real nice monotonic vocals

310\. Hit the Autobot  
We know how much of a bad aim you are  
And that was through a small door  
With Tacks taking up the entire space

311\. Prevent Soundwave equipment from getting trashed  
It is the best in the world  
And…  
We like to steal them for other purposes  
That could be said were for Decepticon causes

312\. Don't allow Autobots in your club  
I mean there had to be a way of keeping them out  
You just didn't want Soundwave's plan to work  
Have him fail and your job is secure  
As well as your life

313\. Wait for your introduction  
I have to admit that Soundwave has a way of saying things  
"Correct my accomplice is behind you"  
That has to be one of the best things he has said

314\. Don't wrestle with Autobots  
Shoot them outright  
I mean you don't want jealous Trine mates  
Or bent wings  
That just hurts

315\. Out fly the Autobot  
I mean you have wings for a reason  
And you are reportedly the fastest thing on Cybertron  
And you should be far more agile than that  
Show it

316\. Spend a little more time off base  
How did you get the mission to go after the femmes?  
Ha…  
Sending a femme after femmes

317\. Use your comm channel  
Anyone can hear you  
Just because you think there is no one around doesn't mean there isn't

318\. Don't terrorise Rumble  
You know that Soundwave doesn't approve  
Although why he sends him out with you is a mystery  
Come on the pint sized mech is always with you  
Makes you wonder if he has a crush

319\. Ignore Shockwave  
The mech likes to play with puppets  
Maybe we left him alone for too long  
…  
Nah he was always like that

320\. Don't taunt the Autobots  
It just gets you injured  
Or worse  
And like you said it was under your command  
So you look like the idiot

321\. Find out if you have destroyed someone before talking  
Once again this just irritates the Autobots  
And you stood your ground for once  
…  
Well I spoke too soon then

322\. Don't mock femmes  
You know what it's like so don't do it  
And the mechs hate it too  
Especially Ironhide

323\. Never run from a femme  
It just makes us tease you more  
And you get in a bad mood  
Well an even worse mood than usual

324\. Eat your words  
I mean you didn't actually see what happened  
You ran before the fight  
Coward to the core  
Although it is nice when you come running to us

Well with the introduction of the Autobot femmes there has been renewed interest in finding out what happened to the small amount of Decepticon femmes and there has been a few mechs who are climbing on a certain bandwagon.  
The Starscream is a femme one.  
And they always get beaten for it by one or more mechs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first chapter where someone complained on FF.net. all I got was 'THis is not a story you have been reported' and that is the reason for the first part.


	23. The Girl who Loved Powerglide and Hoist Goes Hollywood

Well once again I managed to save over the work that I had done and this time I managed not to frag everything up.  
Just my introduction

325\. Only send one Conehead out on missions  
This is a variation of another rule   
But you don't listen  
And the Coneheads still screw up  
And Ramjet is an idiot  
Especially if he compliments Powerglide

326\. Allow others to screw up  
Well Soundwave did a good job this time  
Couldn't even get one formula from a human  
Well ok  
A human who is deadly to all machines

327\. Build force fields  
Where Megatron got that idea I have no clue  
I mean we never had them  
Megatron: Energise the force fields  
Soundwave: What force fields

328\. Help clean up the mess  
You cannot get out of this one  
It wasn't 'attention all Decepticons minus Starscream'  
Yes we know Megatron got out of it  
But he is the leader  
You can skip when you are leader

329\. Don't point out the obvious  
If it is so obvious why do you continue to send the Coneheads?  
I mean this isn't the first time they screwed up  
Or will it be the last

330\. Forget speaking logically  
No one listens to you  
And Megatron will blame you anyway

331\. Prevent mechs from listening in  
I mean there are things I want to keep quiet  
Yes I know this is Soundwave's job  
But you know how he is  
Anyway  
How did Thrust, Ramjet and Astrotrain get there so fast?  
Unless they were already at the door

332\. Stop trying to impress mechs  
You don't know what that machine did either  
For all you know it could make cupcakes  
Just saying

333\. Don't participate in the annual 'toss the Screamer compitition'  
Megatron always wins  
Probably because he gets more practice  
Constant whining practice

334\. Stay on the floor  
You look so comfortable there  
Doesn't stop him from throwing you around  
I mean he just picks you up  
And why does Ramjet look so sniveling

335\. Learn how to spell  
Cllose  
I thought you were a scientist?  
Or was that just a rumour?

336\. Consult Soundwave on all communications  
He is supposed to be Communications Specialist  
Not just a stoic statue  
And one question could have gotten you your answer  
You just didn't want to

337\. Don't make excuses  
I am pretty sure that you don't use excuses  
Just whine for the sake  
And your vocals do tend to run into each other

338\. When down stay down  
Megatron took you offline for a reason  
Not a good one  
I mean he didn't even hear your offer  
But those like your excuses tend to be the same

Nemesis Suggestions 4.4

63\. Human television is banned in all Decepticon bases  
Especially Hetalia  
You are not a country  
And Stop calling me 'Cracker or TC  
My designation is Thundercracker  
Skywarp is a bad influence  
Suggested: Thundercracker

64\. Stop telling the cassettes that Soundwave is the boogey man  
They live with him  
Yes I know he almost glided up to the humans  
That was because they were at a movie set  
Dramatics  
Suggested: Ravage

65\. Stop the insinuations in front of Astrotrain  
Yes we all ride him  
Doesn't mean he is the Decepticon bike  
I thought that was you  
Ok it is Astrotrain  
Suggested: Blitzwing

66\. Stop trying to beat Wheeljack's explosion rating  
It won't happen with human lighters  
It is impossible to beat  
Trust Ratchet he fixes his aft  
Ratchet and Hook will deactivate you  
Especially since you set off Wheeljack  
Suggested: Ratchet

67\. D*&^ ki$# M$%ga(!n  
Huh either someone is playing with me or there is an error  
Cause this is almost rubbish  
Still can put it in  
Suggested: #$a%^r&*'s G*)s&

Yes I know the list is a bit stupid but that doesn't mean that you mechs have to screw with me. And it has been brought to my attention that I use human expletives more and it isn't liked all that much.  
Well frag off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved the ending to The Girl Who Loved Powerglide with Megatron asking for force shields that don't exist. Am almost finished this one all that is left is about six episodes, the movie and two episodes of Beast Wars. Double update today. i would like to thank OrianPrime92 for suggestions xii and xv


	24. Interlude

#$$ptr *^$nty Fo^r  
^%e &y t* V#$%!r ()&ma  
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%##$$##$%$# Don't (*^%$##$%^&*((*&^%%$##$%^&****&&^^%%$#  
!#$%^&_*&$+_+_==-=08876%$###$%^^^&&^^%$$###$%^&&**((){}"  
!#$%^&)*^$%^&**())_(*&&^%%$$##$%%^^&&***(()))(*&^%$#%$#!#  
^%$&$*)^^&%$#%$%$#$^$%&%*^^&%%^$##$$#&$$*&%%(%(%%$#  
*(*%##$&%^*^(&*&&%%$#%#% Attack 8^$%%$%&%*^)^%$%^$##%$^$  
!#$%^&_*&$+_+_==-=08876%$###$%^^^&&^^%$$###$%^&&**((){}"  
!#$%^&)*^$%^&**())_(*&&^%%$$##$%%^^&&***(()))(*&^%$#%$#!#  
^%$&$*)^^&%$#%$%$#$^$%&%*^^&%%^$##$$#&$$*&%%(%(%%$#  
!#$%^&_*&$+_+_==-=08876%$###$%^^^&&^^%$$###$%^&&**((){}"  
!#$%^&)*^$%^&**())_(*&&^%%$$##$%%^^&&***(()))(*&^%$#%$#!#  
^%$&$*)^^&%$#%$%$#$^$%&%*^^&%%^$##$$#&$$*&%%(%(%%$#  
!#$%^&_*&$+_+_==-=08876%$###$%^^^&&^^%$$###$%^&&**((){}"  
!#$%^&)*^$%^&**())_(*&&^%%$$##$%%^^&&***(()))(*&^%$#%$#!#  
^%$&$*)^^&%$#%$%$#$^$%&%*^^&%%^$##$$#&$$*&%%(%(%%$#  
98&*%#%$#%$&^*&(*&_)+_*^()_+{}"?:"{}?:{_I( Autobot*&%$&^*%(*%$  
!#$%^&_*&$+_+_==-=08876%$###$%^^^&&^^%$$###$%^&&**((){}"  
!#$%^&)*^$%^&**())_(*&&^%%$$##$%%^^&&***(()))(*&^%$#%$#!#  
^%$&$*)^^&%$#%$%$#$^$%&%*^^&%%^$##$$#&$$*&%%(%(%%$#  
!#$%^&_*&$+_+_==-=08876%$###$%^^^&&^^%$$###$%^&&**((){}"  
!#$%^&)*^$%^&**())_(*&&^%%$$##$%%^^&&***(()))(*&^%$#%$#!#  
^%$&$*)^^&%$#%$%$#$^$%&%*^^&%%^$##$$#&$$*&%%(%(%%$#  
!#$%^&_*&$+_+_==-=08876%$###$%^^^&&^^%$$###$%^&&**((){}"  
!#$%^&)*^$%^&**())_(*&&^%%$$##$%%^^&&***(()))(*&^%$#%$#!#  
^%$&$*)^^&%$#%$%$#$^$%&%*^^&%%^$##$$#&$$*&%%(%(%%$#  
)&*%&$^$*&%(*^&*%$$#&%($%$# City76565*%$^$%(^%$&^#^$*&$#&^$*

Seriously I need to get Soundwave on this hacker now that I can't do any work around here and for some weird reason whatever it is only wants to attack my rules for Starscream.  
There can't be a connection can there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a message in all that chaos. I put this in because I am getting towards the end. Can you guess who wrote this?


	25. The Key to Vector Sigma, Aerial Assault and War Dawn

Soundwave still hasn't found the cause of that hack to my personal computer so once again I blame either his runts or Starscream.  
I have no evidence yet but I will get some.

339\. Restrict the Coneheads flight time  
I mean they are idiots  
Only good for patrols and cleaning the lower levels of the Nemesis  
I mean Dirge flew into a cliff when he knew he wouldn't make it  
Same with Thrust  
…  
Ramjet flew into one a little later  
…  
See idiots

340\. Don't make fun of the Stunticons  
You know that it aggravates Megatron  
And Motormaster  
It also…  
Yeah that's all since Dead End doesn't care and Breakdown is paranoid about other things  
Drag Strip and Wildrider just make names up for you

341\. Don't bet on the stupidity of humans  
I mean the Stunticons have the Decepticon logo  
And yet the humans still call them Autobots   
I lost five cubes of high grade  
Thundercracker says that I am gullible

342\. Stop painting Astrotrain  
Wait  
…  
Sorry  
That's just Blastoff  
…  
Who the hell is Blastoff?

343\. Don't plan traps  
They don't work  
And who are the Combaticons?  
I mean they just appeared out of nowhere

344\. Redesign Megatron's weapons platform  
I mean a giant purple griffin?  
Seriously was he on metal shavings when he came up with that?

345\. Keep up to date with your paperwork  
That way you can help with missions  
And not be cooped up in the Nemesis

346\. Help your Trine  
They were all over us  
And it took you long enough to dump the hostages

347\. Work on your attitude  
We might get some more admirers  
Although there weren't many Autobot fliers  
So that isn't hard

348\. Be gentle when you fix our wings  
I know that you are better than the Constructicons  
They are still delicate  
And if you want us to be gentle  
Well you get the point

349\. Never suspect  
With you there is always a reason  
A dumb reason that only you understand  
But still a reason

350\. Never call someone 'buddy'  
It is creepy  
And made my Energon freeze  
You turned Thundercracker into a block of ice  
…  
Sorry that is just him

351\. Never say the word 'swell'  
It was troubling just walking behind you  
Notice how I was walking behind everyone  
As far away from you  
Still couldn't ignore your vocals though

352\. Help Thundercracker up  
He was trapped under metal  
I know he did it himself  
…  
Ouch  
You didn't have to hit me TC

353\. Don't disappear  
I know you were laughing at me  
Guardian robots are scary  
Like Thundercracker said they gave us a pounding  
Well not you since you ran  
Constantly

Nemesis Suggestions

LXIII. Stop using Roman Numerals if you don't know the order  
I mean it looks wrong  
And you look like an idiot  
It gets on Soundwave too  
Suggested: Soundwave

64\. Stop annoying Soundwave about his age  
Yes he is one of the first Decepticons  
You live near the mech  
Make fun of Shockwave  
He can't hit you  
Suggested: Ravage

65\. Stop insinuating that Blastoff and Astrotrain are related  
We all know they look alike  
And that they are both shuttles  
Well maybe creator creation  
Suggested: Blitzwing

66\. Stop hacking onto my computer  
Soundwave found the hacker had the code Starscream's Ghost  
And that was a bad disguise  
I mean it had your name in it  
Suggested: Skywarp

67\. Stop insinuating you have exclusive parties in your quarters  
We all know what that means  
And I believe the writer of this rule was jealous  
He was never invited  
Suggested: Anonymous

Since Starscream has been stuck in his office for so long I have a thought that something big might be going down soon.  
And yes Thundercracker for your information I do have thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone ever noticed that the Combaticons appeared two episodes before Starscream 'liberated' them from Cybertron? Sorry I wrote the Astrotrain rule before realizing it was Blastoff. And there is a fangirl moment with Starscream fixing Skywarp's wings that I just awwed over I think it was in War Dawn.


	26. Trans-Europe Express, Cosmic Rust

Ever since the Stunticons were brought online there has been an almost continuous battle of wills in the Nemesis with the older factions trying to either dominate or break the new recruits. So far the Coneheads and Starscream are in med bay.  
Interestingly enough from injuries inflicted by Dead End. Who knew the mech had it in him?

354\. Stop filming Megatron's mistakes  
We know that he has some  
And that the humans want to know them  
But Megatron always knows where the footage comes from

355\. Don't trust Astrotrains sensors  
We don't know what they have on them  
Or what he put on them  
They could be as faulty as him

356\. Keep your grubby fingers off valuable objects  
It could be booby trapped  
Megatron said booby  
And yes Thundercracker I am that infantile

357\. Don't strain yourself too much  
You looked like you were grunting over that thing  
With Rumble  
We all knew you had something with him

358\. Stop giggling over Megatron's injuries  
It isn't very Decepticon like  
And it prevents us from defending you when mechs call you a femme

359\. Stop complaining about Astrotrain  
It sounds like you have a thing with him  
That cannot go on  
You are ours

360\. Just pull it out  
Don't run any scans to see if it is damaging anything  
It is only Megatron  
We don't need him  
And I am being sarcastic there

361\. Try to be more humorous  
Megatron doesn't get it  
Though we do  
Mainly because it was about Megatron deactivating

362\. Comment less on Megatron  
Well when he is in the room  
Later when you are alone go for it

363\. Get the Constructicons to fix Megatron as fast as they can  
I mean they really are slow  
And kind of path…  
They are the best medics

364\. Don't get jealous at the Stunticons  
You were favored at one point  
Then the Coneheads  
Then the Constructicons  
Now the Stunticons  
It will go to someone else after

365\. Give back up to Blitzwing  
Not in the form of Dirge  
Although he did manage to do this well  
Even if he called the Arialbots moths

366\. Keep quiet  
Megatron must have soldered your mouth shut  
Either that or you are using a cut out of yourself  
Which is breaking rule….  
Primus I don't know anymore

Nemesis Suggestions 4.5

68\. Stop calling Perceptor a pet  
It is creepy  
And you have the snake  
You can ask Soundwave for one of the cassettes  
Like Rumble  
Suggested: Wheeljack

69\. Stop calling Shockwave  
Every time you call you make him crash  
And that is funny  
Then we lose Energon to the femmes  
Which sucks  
Suggested: Acid Storm

70\. Stop visiting Astrotrain  
You are not together  
So there is no reason for you to be checking up on him  
So what if he is under your command  
You never visit me  
Suggested: Blitzwing

71\. Stop hacking any computer  
There have been numerous emails sent out by the same person  
It is you  
We know it  
Just because you were not on the Nemesis means nothing  
You are smart enough to get around that  
Suggested: Skywarp

72\. Stop buying cat toys online  
Ravage doesn't appreciate it  
Neither does Soundwave  
Although…  
Ratbat loves them  
Suggested: Ravage

73\. Take Ratbat out on flights  
He is getting serious cabin fever  
Soundwave is so controlling with the little bat  
Must be because he is the youngest  
Suggested: Laserbeak

Well another week in the Nemesis and even with Megatron and Soundwave interrogating him Starscream hasn't owned up to hacking the computers.  
Megatron is furious since he gets almost fifty messages a minute. Creepy.


	27. Nemesis Suggestions Five

Well with Starscream, Megatron and Soundwave were in conference about some big up and coming mission there was very little for the rest of the army.  
Except that there had been more encounters with the Autobots.

74\. Stop watching Friends  
We know that you like it  
I mean it gives you the wrong ideas  
Even though you are kind of like Monica  
Suggested: Thundercracker

75\. Never mention the incident  
I don't know where you got that flavoring  
Or how Megatron got a hold of it  
Or how he ended up on the roof  
Covered in green slime  
Suggested: Skywarp

76\. Never mention sparklings  
Especially around Megatron  
Since it is creeping him out  
Although you would have cute sparklings  
Suggested: Soundwave

77\. Never order cat toys for Ratbat  
There are too many of them in Soundwave's quarters  
He is walking over them  
And bringing them into conferences  
And no one has the spark to comment  
Suggested: Frenzy

78\. Never irritate Hook  
He has the most knowledge about fixing wings  
And his gestalt will kick your aft  
Either that or use you as a toy  
Like the Operation man  
That is always fun isn't it  
No…  
Suggested: Scavenger

79\. Stop stealing mirrors  
I mean we don't need all of them  
Your room is just one big mirror  
And you get screechy when you break them  
Suggested: Dirge

80\. Stop making up songs with Dirge  
They are kind of creepy  
And sexist  
Wait why am I complaining  
You are the only femme here  
Suggested: Thrust

81\. Stop writing the Karma Sutra  
It is not needed  
And…  
Far too detailed  
Suggested: Dead End

82\. Stop hiding in the Nemesis  
You will be found  
And punished  
And sent to med bay  
Suggested: Megatron

83\. Keep your hands to yourself  
Nothing is wrong with touching  
Just with your Trine  
Or consenting mechs  
Suggested: Astrotrain

84\. Honor your restraining orders  
I mean you have enough of them  
Even one from your Trine  
We were both drunk  
Suggested: Blitzwing

85\. Restrain your painting to your quarters  
I mean the walls look bad  
Even though they were bad to begin with  
Or you could go to the Ark  
Suggested: Octane

86\. Never talk to Megatron socially  
It is creepy  
And the rumors are going around   
Not very nice  
Suggested: Rumble

87\. Never talk to these people on the internet  
9aza  
Thefallenwriter  
Hedgehog B. Rebecca  
Starseeded  
Starfire201  
Nightwing 132  
MasterChiefAnderson  
dragonlover91  
Lambor Terror Lep  
OrianPrime92  
Psyconinja7  
DitzyMusicLover  
starlover4eva  
The Starscream  
anonybot  
TransFormers101  
They are giving you the wrong impression  
I don't want you to have squishy friends  
Suggested: Breakdown

88\. Stop seeing Skyfire  
You are on the wrong side of the war  
Megatron is getting jealous  
Suggested: Ratchet

89\. Never mention sparklings to Skyfire  
He is getting jittery  
And is getting ideas  
You don't want to know  
Suggested: Wheeljack

90\. Stop dragging Silverbolt up high  
He is not comfortable with heights  
And you know this  
There may be a slight crush  
Suggested: Air Raid

91\. Never fly with the Arialbots  
You know that they were in awe of you  
Puppy love seems to apply  
You flying with them would just jerk them around  
Suggested: Skyfire

92\. Prevent Skywarp from publishing the Autobot comments  
They are not on the Nemesis  
So I should have an Ark suggestions box  
Nah doesn't sound as well  
Suggested: Starscream

93\. Make up some new pick up lines  
Seriously they are getting old  
Just because the mechs you are hitting on are the same  
Yeah I love them all  
Suggested: Everyone

Yeah I need to recharge now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still kept the names from FF.net.


	28. Nemesis Suggestions Six

Nothing could be more boring than watching Starscream once again annoying Megatron and getting his aft beaten then dragging his busted aft to med bay.  
It was either that or watch reruns of 'Everyone Loves Raymond'… That was even too evil for the Decepticons to watch.

97\. Stop singing  
The sound of your vocals is getting too much  
Even with audio plugs  
Your vocals cut through everything  
Suggested: Thundercracker

98\. Never cackle over a crystal ball  
You are not a witch  
No matter how much you watch 'Charmed'  
And…  
I do not pretend to be Paige  
Suggested: Skywarp

99\. There are no alternative universes  
No one wants to think that there are more of you out there  
And even if there were…  
The odds are you would be an Autobot  
Suggested: Soundwave

100\. Don't remove your gags  
We spend too long putting them on  
Both Rumble and Frenzy have made it their mission  
And they are kind of succeeding  
Suggested: Frenzy

101\. Never irritate Scavenger  
It is interesting how we have misunderstood that mech  
Hook and Scrapper are very protective  
And for such a quiet mech he can certainly fight  
Must be because of all the Gestalt fighting  
Suggested: Hook

102\. Stop breaking all the mirrors  
We know you like looking into them  
Doesn't change what you see  
I mean we all know you are good looking  
At least you don't constantly ask us  
Your ego is already too big  
Suggested: Dirge

103\. Stop broadcasting the songs you made with Dirge  
Elita One was complaining  
Optimus Prime wanted you deactivated  
Not the only one  
Suggested: Thrust

104\. Distribute the Karma Sutra  
We really need it  
Especially Breakdown  
Suggested: Dead End

105\. Stop hiding in the Ark  
You are giving the Autobots the creeps  
That and Skyfire should stop hiding you in his quarters  
We don't need to know what happens there  
Suggested: Optimus Prime

106\. Keep everything to yourself  
There was a rule in place just for your hands  
And you just found a way around that  
We don't mean just stand in the corner…  
Actually that might solve all problems  
Suggested: Astrotrain

107\. Stop putting restraining orders on mechs  
You deserve to have them  
No one is going to put one on Megatron  
Maybe Prime  
But Megatron won't follow them  
Suggested: Blitzwing

108\. Just stop painting  
No one needs to see that  
Suggested: Octane

109\. You are not a medium  
You are just inviting trouble  
I mean the flickering lights are just getting annoying  
As are the subtle ghosts that may be haunting us  
Suggested: Rumble

110\. Never meet these people  
9aza  
Thefallenwriter  
Rebecca B. Hedgehog  
Starseeded  
Starfire201  
Nightwing 132  
MasterChiefAnderson  
Dragonlover91  
Lambor Terror Lep  
OrianPrime92  
Psyconinja7  
DitzyMusicLover  
Starlover4eva  
The Starscream  
Anonybot  
Transformers101  
And new to the list who you can also not talk to anymore  
Mahimomo  
I have no clue why but they just won't stay away  
Must be your charm  
Suggested: Breakdown

111\. Stop emailing the Autobots  
They all have you on the spam list  
Even some of the mechs on the Nemesis do  
And we have to put up with you all the time  
Not that some of us mind  
Suggested: Ratchet

112\. Spend more time with your Trine  
We know you like Skyfire but still stalking him is not the idea  
Laserbeak is getting annoyed with all the footage she is being asked to film  
Skywarp is beginning to feel left out  
Suggested: Thundercracker

113\. Stop emailing suggestions to Wheeljack  
We know that he has a bad record of accomplishment for blowing stuff up  
Does not mean you have to help  
Even if you do help  
And Ratchet is nicer to you  
Suggested: Perceptor

114\. Never tease the Arialbots  
They are young  
I know you were a great flyer when you were young  
Doesn't mean everyone else is  
Look at the Coneheads  
Suggested: Skyfire

115\. Remember that nothing stops Skywarp  
He is still writing the Autobot suggestions  
Nothing you can do with stop that  
Suggested: Thundercracker

116\. Be on the look out  
Along with suggestions I have gotten some threats  
Maybe I should add those too  
Might be a little fun  
And naming and shaming is fun  
Suggested: Everyone

117\. Stop Skywarp from calling Astrotrain 'Astroglide'  
Well if the mech didn't suck as badly as that Autobot I would  
And it was only to see how much he whinged  
Going to Starscream…  
What a big sparkling  
Suggested: Astrotrain

118\. Don't try to catch the Kremzeeks  
They are not Pokemon  
No matter how much you want them to  
Or how much of a game you make out of it  
Suggested: Blaster

119\. Stay away from the karaoke machine when drunk  
We don't need your vocals killing our buzz  
Or our favorite songs  
And it gives us all terrible processor aches in the morning  
Plus we got noise complaints from the ARK  
We are insulated by water how does that happen?  
Suggested: Sunstorm

120\. Don't perch on the dam, or any tall buildings  
I know it's the only way you'll be higher than me in ANYTHING  
but you look like a bird.  
Especially when your trine joins you.  
Megatron stole the list to write that  
I love sitting on buildings with my Trine  
Cause that is when we… do what Seekers do best  
Suggested: Megatron

Well by the look on everyone's faceplates I should stop now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise to Mahimomo for leaving you out in the previous chapter and that this helps. I really didn't mean it! And all the credit for suggestions has moved to the top of the page oh and if no one picked up on it I HATE Everyone Loves Raymond and also Seinfeld, I thought the humor was bad. I would like to thank DitzyMusicLover, 9aza and Mahimomo for their suggestions


	29. Nemesis Suggestions Seven

I know that I said I would put the threats I received in but on second thought most of them seem to be about the same thing… and far too graphic so unfortunately I have to agree with Soundwave how does not want his cassettes around it.  
They already know more than what I have.

121\. Stop gate crashing Femme parties  
No matter what we say, you are not a femme  
And why do you protest so much when you do this  
It undermines everything  
Suggested: Elita One

122\. Stop saying you'd make a good model  
I don't know how you got that idea  
No one told you that  
Must be because of all the stolen mirrors  
Suggested: Skywarp

123\. Don't ride the Dinobots  
This is not a theme park  
Ratchet is angry  
Wheeljack is explosive  
Hook wants to pull you apart  
Grimlock didn't mind  
I find that more interesting than anything  
Suggested: Wheeljack

124\. Don't merge with the underbase or the matrix for that matter  
We know they are powerful  
You don't need that kinda power  
You tend to slaughter people with that kind of power  
Suggested: anonymous humans

125\. Stop trying to contact Vector Prime  
He will not be your messenger  
You don't need an army  
Besides an army of alternative versions would stab you in the back  
We don't even know a Vector Prime  
Suggested: Vector Prime

126\. Don't become angst ridden  
It's fangirl bait  
For that matter fanboy bait  
It is also pathetic  
Suggested: Your Trine

127\. There is no Dark god of Transformers named Unicron  
We may be proven wrong  
And there is no way he will make me a victim  
If anyone you will make your Trine his victims  
Suggested: Megatron

128\. Get drunk with your Trine and sing Karaoke  
I know there are rules against getting drunk and one against Karaoke  
But we don't care if we are drunk too  
It is a bonding thing  
And it irritates the rest of the army  
Suggested: Your Trine

129\. Don't mention Astroglide around Astrotrain  
It is apparently a sexual lubricant on Earth  
I have to thank the human DitzyMusicLover for that trivia  
In fact…  
Why am I putting this rule in when he will read it?  
Suggested: Octane

130\. Ignore all emails from the Lambo twins  
It is just creepy  
And I thought that Red Alert would have banned you  
Or at the very least Prowl  
Suggested: Red Alert

131\. Ignore all emails from Red Alert  
I don't understand why Red Alert is emailing you  
You have nothing in common  
Unless…  
Did something happen while you were 'partners'?  
On second thought it will only make me jealous  
Suggested: Skywarp

132\. Stop sounding like you enjoy Jet Judo  
Who enjoys the twins pulling on our ailerons?  
For some reason they don't know where to rub  
It gets frustrating sometimes  
Though you and Thundercracker relieve that  
Suggested: Ramjet

133\. The Earth will not end in 2011 stop saying it  
We all wish it would happen but it won't  
I mean we are more advanced than the humans  
And it was predicted so long ago  
When do predictions ever come through?  
Suggested: Rumble

134\. Never go near Mistletoe  
I mean it is October not December  
And Megatron is getting annoyed  
With you chasing him around  
Oddly enough Soundwave too  
Suggested: Soundwave

135\. Never practice contortionism  
I don't know why  
I don't want to know  
But it is creeping mechs out  
Though Megatron is happy with our performance  
Suggested: Breakdown

136\. You are not Houdini  
We know you can talk your way out of everything  
Doesn't mean you can get out of everything  
And Megatron still likes beating you  
Suggested: Thundercracker

137\. We know that they love to imitate us  
Some have colour coded their jets to look like us  
Imitation is the highest form of flattery  
Learn to love it  
Suggested: Thundercracker

138\. Don't set up a fangirl meeting  
They are rabid  
And how many of them are Seeker fanatics?  
We are swamped with love letters  
It is creepy  
The fanboys are just as bad  
Suggested: Thrust

139\. No setting aerial shows  
I know you are an exhibitionist  
Doesn't mean we are  
Even if it is fun  
And our revenue skyrockets  
Suggested: All Seekers

140\. Never burn your Trine mates  
It is not nice  
You don't like it either  
And it is not erotic  
Suggested: Your Trine

141\. Never accept presents from fangirls or fanboys  
It is creepy  
And gives them the wrong impression  
They send the most inappropriate things  
And it makes them hang around the Nemesis  
Suggested: Soundwave

142\. Never collect figurines of youself  
It is narcessistic  
And so you  
Just don't  
There isn't enough room on the Nemesis  
And I won't come into your quaters  
Neither will Megatron  
But you probably think that as a good thing  
Suggested: Megatron

The Suggestions are fantastic and making my job easy. Not that I do anything the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really loving the suggestions that are coming in and would love some more. Thank you all for reviewing cookies for everyone. I would like to thank Miss CHSparkles, Tristar, Lambor Terror Lep, DitzyMusicLover and Demons Kin for their suggestions


	30. Nemesis Suggestions Eight

Well Soundwave is beginning to complain about how my suggestions are affecting Rumble and Frenzy. The little monsters have started to sing and do the stuff that Starscream can't in front of him and that is not good.  
Hook isn't happy that Starscream keeps sending them to him.

143\. Stop reading Fanfiction out loud  
Megatron is getting creeped out by it  
Especially if it has even a hint of Megastar  
Me and TC don't mind ones with us  
It is a turn on  
Suggested: Megatron

144\. Stop reading Fanfiction at all  
Megatron will smack you  
And he will get Soundwave to ban the site  
…  
Too late  
Suggested: Soundwave

145\. Don't boast about what a great mother/carrier you would be  
No one wants to see that  
Although everyone wants to frag you  
Irresponsible mechs  
Suggested: Hook

146\. Hitting Megatron while his back is turned with a baseball  
You know he won't pick up the coin  
…  
How did you get a coin that big?  
I want to use it in a prank.  
Suggested: Rumble

147\. Stop suggesting that Megatron is 'queer'  
Yes we know he has a life sized Optimus doll  
And that it is in a closet  
Doesn't mean he is in the closet  
And what does it say when you ask to play with it?  
Suggested: Laserbeak

148\. Don't use emoticons in your reports  
Megatron doesn't like them  
Soundwave doesn't understand  
And you are giving Rumble and Frenzy ideas  
Suggested: Ravage

149\. Stop attending fangirl parties  
Even if they invite you  
Soundwave is considering an AVO on Lambor Terror Lep  
Suggested: Dirge

150\. Have some Astroglide with Megatron  
Maybe it would make your relationship better  
And you wouldn't end up in med bay so often  
Suggested: Scavenger

151\. Stop reading Twilight  
It is for little girls who have necrophilic dreams  
I mean how would they sparkle if they are dead?  
Actually don't answer that  
Suggested: Thundercracker

152\. The 'That's what she said' joke is no longer funny  
It never was  
You got Rumble and Frenzy into it  
Soundwave is out for your Energon  
Suggested: Ramjet

153\. Stop pretending that you are the Cybertronian version of The Situation from Jersey Shore  
Even though I have no clue what that is  
…  
Can anyone tell me  
Well it got boring fast  
Suggested: Vortex

154\. Stop saying you are going out with 'Jetfire' we all know it is Skyfire  
It is sad you have to make an excuse to frag someone  
We don't care  
As long as you bring back footage  
Although Megatron might  
Suggested: Skywarp

155\. Don't turn the Nemesis into a haunted house  
Halloween was last week  
And who is going to see it?  
You are really getting to Breakdown  
Suggested: Deadend

156\. Stop pushing mechs down for fun  
Some of us have kibble that makes it hard for us to get up  
And it isn't fun looking like a turtle  
And for the love of Primus...  
Don't bring up TFWiki  
I already knows that is what it says about me  
Suggested: Thundercracker

157\. You don't need aviation insurance from the humans  
They will not cover you if you crash  
You do it far too often  
How do you cover the excess?  
And I don't think they will cover damage by Megatron  
Suggested: Thrust

158\. Stop leaving the arrival tower raised  
We don't live in a tent  
I know it is rare but some waves crash in  
Then you get to clean up  
Suggested: Reflector

159\. Stop using Sunstorm as a campfire  
He kicks up a stink  
And when I say a stink  
I mean he recreates the explosion at Hiroshima  
Suggested: Acid Storm

160\. Stop playing with the humans  
We know they can't tell between us and an actual jet  
Doesn't mean you can repaint yourself  
And then take control  
Suggested: Sparkplug

161\. Stop changing your vocaliser  
It is getting irritation  
Especially when you imitate other mechs  
I think you made Soundwave crash when you imitated Megatron  
Suggested: Motormaster

162\. Tell Skyfire to send his love notes directely to you  
Not to the collective Decepticon in box  
We don't need to know what you do  
Although...  
We do like to mock you  
Suggested: Wildrider

Well by the looks of it we have hit the 100 Suggestion and still going. Boy Starscream you are messed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do have no clue what The Situation from Jersey Shore is. And if you look up Skywarp in TFWiki you see that every picture has a comment about him pushing mechs down stairs, read it cause it is funny. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I would like to thank MissCHSparkles, Demons Kin, Lambor Terror Lep, Haluwasa and Mahimomo for their suggestions


	31. Nemesis Suggestion Nine

No one appreciates the time I'm putting into this list. All I get told is that I should be placing my attention on routes or monitors.  
Yeesh, anyone who knows me will know that I never do that. Now back to the list.

163\. Stop complaining about American programming  
We aren't going to be here long enough to care  
And seriously we can change to another country  
Say...  
Australia  
Suggested: Skywarp

164\. Stop listening to Rap  
How can you listen to that slag  
you're giving Rumble wrong ideas  
Suggested: Ravage

165\. Please stop rapping  
You are not a rapper  
Everyone is sick of you imitating a rapper  
Please for the love of Primus stop  
Suggested: Thundercracker

166\. Keep rapping in the Nemesis  
I'm not impressed  
That is the only way I would be impressed  
Suggested: Skyfire

167\. Keep drinking high grade  
I know we might have a rule against it  
But you act so much nicer drunk  
Suggested: Skywarp

168\. Keep control of your Trine  
Stop him from warping in and stealing high grade  
Especially yours  
Hey I have to object with this  
I always share my high grade  
Suggested: Astrotrain

169\. Stop reading emails from Soundwave  
No one wants to know you know what we think  
Especially when you are going to screech them all over the Nemesis  
It gets annoying  
And no one is going to stop  
Suggested: Rumble

170\. Order Thudercracker to write the list  
He would write them up short  
It is easier to ignore than a paragraph that I write  
I think that I will ignore this one  
I WILL ALWAYS WRITE THE LIST...  
AND YOU WILL READ IT  
And you will like it  
Or I will warp you somewhere you don't want to be  
And yes you got a paragraph  
Suggested: Dirge

171\. Stop trying to get Megatron/Skyfire on Jerry Springer  
You know they would never go on  
And if you did then Skyfire wouldn't do anything  
If you want someone  
Take Thundercracker and I  
Suggested: Megatron

172\. Cloning is a bad thing  
No matter what you think  
And no...  
We don't want to know what you do with the clones  
Especially if they are of us  
Suggested: Soundwave

173\. It IS too early to put up Christmas decorations  
I did get this a month ago  
It doesn't matter if the stores have put them up  
And how many times Megatron blows them up  
Suggested: Blitzwing

174\. Your life is not a massive blockbuster  
Even though most mechs get it wrong  
I mean you lie constantly bout your life  
Suggested: Blaster

175\. Stop complaining about how Michael Bay made you look like a dorito  
You looked better than Frenzy  
The tattoos looked bad aft though  
Suggested: A bag of Doritos

176\. Stop retreating  
It looks sad  
Even for you  
IS THIS SHORT ENOUGH FOR YOU?  
Suggested: Airraid

177\. Stop bothering Cobra  
Megatron is getting annoyed at their whining  
They are more annoying than the Autobots  
You should never be near humans  
Or around younglings  
Suggested: Cobra

178\. Stop creating gender bending pictures of mechs  
We don't want to know what you are doing with them  
Or how you got it done  
Suggested: Laserbeak

179\. Stop sending your gender bending pictures to mechs  
They don't need to know  
Although some of the Autobot ones were cute  
Especially Jazz and Prowl  
Suggested: Buzzsaw

180\. Stop sending Prime photoshopped pictures of Megatron and Elita One  
They are not realistic  
Nor are the leaders amused  
Elita has a grudge against you   
But it does answer some questions...  
Suggested: Megatron and Optimus Prime

181\. Do not chase Swoop  
Grimlock is not happy with you  
How many times do you need to come back with bites?  
Better yet don't answer that  
Suggested: Grimlock

182\. Stop asking Omega Supreme if he needs to go on Slimfast  
We don't need to see you squashed  
Why do you want to irritate those with anger management issues?  
Not even Devastator does that  
And he has the power to stop him  
Suggested: Jazz

183\. No Unicron is not 'Horny'  
I don't know how he got this message here  
But stop annoying him  
He is the god of chaos  
…  
How do you know Unicron?  
Suggested: Unicron

184\. Quite saying you are a DJ  
DJ Starscream is a human  
And your DJ ability is nothing compared to Soundwave  
Suggested: Ratbat

185\. Stop trying to combine with other mechs  
You are not a combiner  
Even if mechs liked you jumping them  
Although did you have to be so graphic  
Suggested: Bumblebee

186\. Never sing 'Blue' from Eifel 65 around Thundercracker, Dirge, Soundwave or Frenzy  
You will just end up getting a pile driver to the face  
Or you will get a sonic blast  
You are partly blue  
Suggested: Thundercracker

187\. Never go on TFWiki  
We don't need to know what they say about us  
Even if it is funny  
'THUNDERCRACKER ON A STICK'  
'You want me, but you can't have me,  
You can have me, but you might not want me'  
Suggested: Thrust

188\. Stop suggesting the upraised tower is compensating for something  
You are the one leaving it up  
ALWAYS  
Sometimes the Coneheads do  
But their names and heads are innuendo enough  
Suggested: Wildrider

189\. Stop trying to get Wildrider into a race with you  
We know they did it on Top Gear but you shouldn't  
Motormaster isn't happy  
Wildrider is ecstatic though  
The Constructicons just want to see how it ends  
Suggested: Motormaster

Well that is another chapter and guess what... It was longer than the last one so you can shove it up your thrusters if you would like it smaller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I really didn't know how many suggestions I would get and i feel so bad not using them in the next chapter. I would like to thank 9aza, OrianPrime92, anonybot, MissCHSparkles, Haluwasa2, Warzonebeta, Mahimomo and DitzyMusicLover.


	32. Starscream's Brigade and The Revenge of Bruticus

Now that the commotion of the Stunticons has died down what will happen now. Starscream is constantly muttering under his breath about something so maybe that will have something to do with it.

367\. Complain more quietly about Shockwave  
Megatron has to favour him  
Who else would stay alone on Cybertron for millennia?  
And besides we all think like you do

368\. Continue shooting mechs in the back  
It works so well  
And if you haven't noticed…  
I am being sarcastic

369\. Proclaim your leadership when Megatron is deactivated  
I mean it was for five seconds  
Then you were kicked off  
Though it was a good visual  
Should use it in the election  
Which we don't have

370\. Run faster  
You might have actually made it  
No  
…  
You would have been hit

371\. Be thankful Megatron only exiled you  
You could have been deactivated  
And being embarrassed is nothing  
We already know what an idiot you are

372\. Don't build your own army  
I mean it is childish  
And yes I know I am more childish than you are  
Usually at any rate  
Megatron did kind of dare you to  
So really it is his fault

373\. Keep your optic colour  
We know you just got exiled from the Decepticons  
Doesn't mean you have to have Autobot blue optics  
Red suits you better

374\. Don't threaten your Trine Mates  
We were under strict orders not to let anyone travel on the space bridge  
Not just you  
You didn't have authorisation  
And your Null Ray isn't authorisation

375\. Say the door names in your helm  
I mean you were standing in front of 217 before you said 216  
For almost two minutes

376\. Get better names  
I mean the Combaticons  
What is with the Gestalt names?

377\. Continue giving reporters wrong names  
It was so funny when the reporter called Cliffjumper 'Cliffjump'  
This rule only applies to the Autobots

378\. Don't just allow the Combaticons to have the fun  
Well Blastoff didn't get involved  
All the rest acted like Children  
Seriously 

379\. You can play favourites  
I would say...  
Vortex and Blastoff  
Just because one doesn't irritate me  
The other is an amusing interrogator

380\. Never brag to Megatron  
Just shoot him and be done  
You would have been leader before now

381\. Show you know how to have fun more often  
You know how to have fun?  
Slag...  
…  
I just lost my entire stash of Energon to Thundercracker

382\. Don't dip your hands into red paint  
You have far too much red  
It doesn't look good

383\. Give your combiners more intelligence  
'Bruticus devastate Devastator'  
At least he could go through with his threat

384\. Make a public announcement when you gain leadership  
Otherwise the Stunticons may have a say in your leadership

385\. Don't confuse Megatron with Bruticus  
You look even more stupid  
And that is saying something  
Megatron isn't that heavy

386\. You are banished from Earth  
That is forever  
…  
He didn't say anything about Cybertron

387\. Don't speak  
Brawl is easily angered  
And he has some great artillery

388\. Use your resources  
I mean Blastoff is a space shuttle  
He can sly further and faster  
And Onslaught is a good tactician

389\. Get some footage of Shockwave being used as a gun  
He looked good then  
Best that we have ever seen him  
And the only time someone liked using him...  
Other than himself

390\. Don't prank Thundercracker  
Don't use your special paint  
YOU were banished did you want Thundercracker as well  
Still don't paint us like you

391\. Don't fly into Shockwave  
Seriously how could you miss him  
…  
That large, boring, purple thing he is

392\. Allow more mechs to ride you  
Why Shockwave  
He has to be the most boring mech  
I guess he had a lot of time to get creative

393\. Don't use holograms  
Vortex like sneak attacks  
That and both Blastoff and Onslaught know better

394\. Arguing with Shockwave is futile at best  
I mean the mech is so boring you would be better talking to a wall  
You would get better conversation

395\. Don't talk about treason in front of Shockwave  
He is so loyal

396\. Make up better names  
'Megabum'?  
I mean seriously  
You are like a child

397\. Make sure Shockwave is unconscious  
He serves only Megatron  
You should know that  
It is basically every second line he says  
After All Hail Megatron  
Is all the programming he have loyalty programming?

398\. Keep an optic on the Combaticons  
They are just as tricky as you  
They are your creations 

399\. Never ask for forgiveness  
You will never get it  
Stop pushing it  
And stop pushing your quest for leadership

400\. Divulge weaknesses sooner  
Bruticus really did live up to his namesake  
Did you make his overriding mind Brawl?  
All he said was that he hated Cybertron

401\. Rule 386 is now countermanded  
Starscream can return to Earth  
As a subordinate again  
…  
So really what has changed?

So the Combaticons are being welcomed into the Decepticons again (after being reprogrammed) along with our SIC and Air Commander (who should be reprogrammed as well).  
Starscream that isn't my opinion I'm just writing what everyone is saying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to be chapter 26 but I got bored half way through 'Starscream's Brigade' so it ended up here. I think those had to be the best two lines in the episodes above Vortex loving sneak attacks and Bruticus devastating Devastator. And if you watch carefully during 'Starscream's Brigade' Starscream's hands are the same colour as his chest and in my opinion it doesn't look as good as the blue.  
> And yes I am off the Soundwave bashing and onto Shockwave.


	33. List of Consequences One

Well here is a change from the usual list of rules or even the list of suggestions thrown at me, I actually been asked by Screamer himself to write up a list of consequences if he ever crossed certain mechs. Being the happy go lucky mech I am I agreed.

1\. Megatron  
a. Severe public beating  
b. Public lecture  
c. Brig time  
ci. Or time in med bay  
d. Private beating  
e. Private beating  
ei. Or time spent in berth

2\. Soundwave  
a. Public dismissal  
b. Processor hack  
bi. Acting like a child/chicken/ Conehead  
bii. Acting loyal  
biii. Anything Soundwave wants  
c. Consecutive cleaning duty  
ci. Cleaning the lower levels

3\. Optimus Prime  
a. Stasis cuffs  
b. Defection speech  
c. Brig time  
d. Time in med bay  
di. With Wheeljack  
dii. See 9. Wheeljack  
e. Exchange with Autobot prisoner  
f. See 1. Megatron  
g. See 8. Elita 1

4\. Prowl  
a. Stasis cuffs  
b. Brig time  
bi. With Sunstreaker guarding  
bii. With Sideswipe guarding  
c. Interrogation  
ci. See 5. Jazz

5\. Jazz  
a. Stasis cuffs  
b. Brig time  
c. Interrogation/torture  
ci. With Barbie Girl  
cii. With It's a Small World  
d. Exchange with Autobot prisoner  
di. See 1. Megatron

6\. Hook  
a. Repairs/torture  
b. Wrench to the helm  
c. Kicked out of med bay  
d. Threats to (try) and ensure you never return

7\. Ratchet  
a. Public lecture  
b. Private lecture  
c. Repairs  
ci. With Wheeljack  
cii. See 9. Wheeljack  
d. Wrench to the helm  
e. Brig time  
f. Exchange with Autobot prisoner  
fi. See 1. Megatron

8\. Elita 1  
a. Stasis cuffs  
b. Public humiliation  
c. Interrogation  
d. More public humiliation  
e. Return to the Decepticons  
ei. Painted pink  
eii. Wrapped with a massive pink bow  
eiii. See 1. Megatron

9\. Wheeljack  
a. Public explosion  
b. Private explosion  
c. Just being blown up  
d. Repairs  
di. With Ratchet  
e. Exchange with Autobot prisoner

10\. Ironhide  
a. Public manhandling  
b. Interrogation  
bi. See 5. Jazz  
c. Time in Brig  
d. Public humiliation  
e. Exchange for Autobot prisoner  
ei. See 1. Megatron

11\. Motormaster  
a. Public beating  
b. Public beating  
c. Public beating  
d. Public beating  
e. Public beating  
ei. Done by Menasor  
f. Trip to med bay  
fi. See 6. Hook

12\. Skyfire  
a. Public dismissal  
b. Stasis cuffs  
c. Public argument  
d. Time in brig  
e. Private argument  
f. Defection speech  
g. Quick kiss  
h. Exchange with Autobot prisoner  
hi. See 1. Megatron  
g. helps in life threatening situations  
gi. See 14. Sunstorm

13\. Shockwave  
a. Public dismissal  
b. Public argument  
c. Time in brig  
d. Possible space bridge accident  
e. Being cloned  
ei. See 14 Sunstorm

14\. Sunstorm  
a. Public lecture  
ai. About Primus  
aii. About how you are a heathen  
b. Public melting  
bi. Skyfire ends up helping  
bii. Public humiliation

15\. Ramjet  
a. Getting rammed  
ai. In the air  
aii. On the ground  
aiii. On the berth  
b. Trip to med bay  
bi. See 6. Hook  
bii. See 1. Megatron

Well that was short and easy to write... well it would have been if Starscream hadn't of been standing over my shoulder screeching advice.  
Ok will you shut up now and let me distribute it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This plot was devised between myself and MasterChiefAnderson and I kind of forgot it until today. I may have been trying a bit too hard for humor just tell me if I did I can take it. When it says see #. Mech you go and read their section again so most of it ends up with Megatron and multiple trips to either med bay. Reviewers get a cookie.


	34. List of Consequences Two

Well we had an overwhelming response to the first series of consequences, so much so that my in box for suggestions has been innundated with mechs wishing for their own name.

Well here we go.

16\. Thundercracker   
a. Close range sonic boom  
b. Public lecture  
c. Private lecture  
d. Private beating  
di. Assisted by Skywarp  
dii. On the berth  
e. Being chained to the berth

17\. Skywarp  
a. Being teleported half way through a wall  
b. Being pranked  
bi. Publicly  
bii. By being bound with ribbon and delivered to Thundercracker   
c. Private beating  
ci. Assisted by Thundercracker   
cii. On the berth

18\. Blaster  
a. Public humiliation  
ai. Using soundwaves  
b. Interrogation  
bi. See 5. Jazz

19\. Smokescreen  
a. Public humiliation  
aii. Causing you to lose control   
aii. And scream like a sparkling femme  
b. Interrogation  
bi. See 5. Jazz

20\. Devcon  
a. Public humiliation  
ai. Being tied up  
aii. Handed to the Autobots like a gift  
b. Interrogation  
bi. See 5. Jazz

21\. Octane  
a. Public happiness  
ai. Being yelled at  
aii. Being run away from  
b. Public beating  
bi. From Sandstorm  
bii. See 22. Sandstorm

22\. Sandstorm  
a. Public beating  
b. Involuntary flight  
bi. Involuntary crash landing  
c. Helps Octane  
ci. See 21. Octane

23\. Astrotrain   
a. Public humiliation  
b. Getting tossed out into space   
bi. Getting tossed out into the upper atmosphere  
bi. Just getting tossed out of Astrotrains cargo hold  
c. Getting frozen  
ci. For the second time  
cii. See 24. Blitzwing

24\. Blitzwing  
a. Public humiliation  
b. Getting slammed into in tank form  
c. Getting frozen  
ci. For the second time  
cii. See 23. Astrotrain 

25\. Dirge  
a. Public humiliation  
ai. Being made to scream like a femme  
aii. Being made to cower  
b. Private humiliation  
bi. On a berth  
bii. Assited by Thrust  
biii. Assisted by Ramjet

26\. Thrust  
a. Public humiliation  
b. Hearing all of Thrusts innuendos  
bi. About his name  
bii. About your name  
biii. About everyones names  
c. Private humiliation  
ci. On a berth  
cii. Assisted by Dirge   
ciii. Assisted by Ramjet

Nemesis Suggestions 9.1  
Well I am ending the Consequences there just so that I can irritate my fellow Decepticons just a little more.

190\. Never beat up Skywarp  
Even if he does call your Trine the...  
The Warped, Screaming, Cracker Trine  
TC will give him what he deserves  
Suggested: Skywarp

191\. No writing Eulogies  
These … fangirls and boys are still online  
9aza  
Mahimomo  
Starlover4eva  
Lambor Terror Rep   
Psyconinja7  
DitzyMusicLover  
Gatekat  
OrianPrime92  
MasterChiefAnderson  
Friglet  
Kishyka  
Sakura117  
Nightwing 123  
The Starscream  
anonybot  
dragonlover91  
Starfire201  
Plus it is kind of creepy  
Even for Dirge

192\. Never chase Skywarp around the Nemesis  
We don't want to know what he did  
Even if you did end up in a wall  
Or in someone elses berth  
Suggested: Onslaught

Well Starscream hated the layout of the List and how hodge podge the numbering was and so had me go back and change everything. Seriously how much of a nit picker do you have to be.

Answer: Soundwave/Shockwave


	35. Masquerade and B.O.T

I can tell that there is something going down soon (yes Thundercracker I do use my processor) as Megatron is constantly locking himself away with Soundwave and sometimes with Starscream (for an entirely different reason)

Well let's get started.

402\. Don't tell Megatron who he can trust  
He can't trust you  
And the Stunticons are actually loyal  
 **They were built that way**  
Starscream get off my list

403\. Stop whining about the Stunitcons unique transformation powers  
Wait...  
…  
Unique?  
I don't want to know what that means  
 **Nothing you fool**  
Ok who gave you the code to hack in?

404\. Stop telling the humans that all driverless cars are Autobots  
I mean seriously they know of the Stunticons by now  
It just shows how stupid they are  
 **Seriously Skywarp they are humans, What do you expect**  
GET OFF

405\. Stop damaging human signs  
We know you erased the one to the US Army Facility  
 **No I didn't**  
Then why was it written on badly  
 **Because...**  
You suck  
 **No you do**  
You suck

Sorry for that Starscream managed to hack into my private files... he won't be doing that for a while. Not hanging from Skyfire's ceiling with his faveourite fuzzy hand cuffs.

Too bad.

406\. Stop commenting on Motormasters leadership style  
He isn't that bad  
Better than you are

407\. Stop playing with the Stunticons force sheilds  
Dead End should have been able to stop that  
And drive away

408\. Don't encourage Motormaster to play chicken  
He just loses  
And his temper gets worse  
Which it isn't possible to  
Although he did give Prime a helm ache

409\. Figure out if they are who they say they are first  
It might have been the Stunticons  
Driving saftely?  
NEVER

410\. Listen carefully  
How could you pick out those changes  
They were so subtle  
And don't comment that I wasn't there

411\. Keep the Constructicons  
There is always something that you need Devastator for  
And there is always something needing Hook or Scrapper

412\. Use one gun  
Where did you get the hand held gun from  
Where did it go?  
You are just so inconsistant

413\. Don't just watch  
This isn't a spectator sport mechs  
Get in the action

414\. Check the parts before Megatron uses them  
You probably could have stopped that  
But Megatron could have seen it too  
Oh well

415\. Keep an optic on Swindle  
I mean his name gives away his nature  
Swindle?  
Such a give away  
And he is your 'creation'

416\. Ask me before talking  
I would tell you to shut up  
You know before you opened your mouth  
Every time

417\. Stop telling me to shut up  
I tell that to you  
The Combaticons were yours  
You should be checking up on them  
Not me

418\. Stop laughing  
It was a good question  
I didn't know to follow the trail  
Just because Megatron called me a dummy doesn't mean I am one  
…  
Much

419\. Stop it with the know it all comments  
I could see that Swindle was up to something  
then again  
When isn't he

420\. Never do a drive by  
I mean how did you pick Swindle up?  
Although it must hurt him  
Knowing he is small enough to do that to  
Vortex will be annoyed he missed it  
And Brawl

421\. Don't sound so gleeful  
You do whiny so much better  
And Swindle didn't deserve that  
If Megatron knew you would be happy  
He wouldn't have done it

422\. Teach your 'creations' better  
Swindle didn't think that Brawls personality mattered  
Oh that will come back to bite him in the aft  
But then again all four will bite him in the aft  
Especially Vortex

423\. if you are going to show them.. show them  
Wait you have a pilots license?  
Huh must have cheated your way through  
Quite a few times

424\. Don't get hit first  
Everyone just stands there and watches you  
And then we get hit  
Which isn't fun  
Or is until you got hit

Well another few missions failed and another few punishments for Starscream. Life goes on as usual in the Nemesis. I have to write down the following conversation between the Stunticons it is just so good.

Wildrider: They're looking at us.  
Breakdown: It's mortifrying.  
Deadend: The word Breakdown is mortifiying. My sentiments exactly.  
Motormaster: No need for your big words Deadend.

And they are Megatron's best soldiers, yeah right.


	36. Transformers The Movie

Unfortunately Skywarp is unavailable to complete this chapter of Starscream's List and in my... infinate time I have decided to take it up.

Yes me Starscream.

If you have a problem... well you can't do anything about it since I have gotten what I wanted. Oh how I love my life at this point.

Well on with my disgrace.

425\. Never speak of a being called Unicron  
I will not be believed  
And will be ridiculed  
More than before

426\. Always have a witty comeback  
I can't believe I allowed Megatron to get away with that  
Although  
Laserbeak still has a better record than I do  
Of no fault of my own

427\. Never use Megatron as a weapon  
I couldn't claim the kills then  
Cause everyone one questioned them  
Oh  
And then there was where his trigger ended

428\. Learn to admit the truth  
I am an idiot  
He was right  
Most of the time

429\. Make less of a hole  
It kind of tips mechs off that there is a problem  
And then the alarm gets sounded  
Why did we love to destroy so much?

430\. Keep everyone away from the giant hole  
Most of us never claimed to be smart  
I did  
And look how that turned out

431\. Aim better  
I could have taken out that red moron  
The old fool didn't matter  
But what would that have helped  
…  
I wouldn't have gotten what I wanted

432\. Shoot Blurr in the mouth  
I mean how irritating can he get  
Well he did hold them up for a few seconds

433\. Shoot the city  
Not my leg  
Even if it was to get away  
It verifies the rumours that I like pain  
And I don't  
I am not masochistic

434\. Don't collect on my bet  
No one actually knows how Wheeljack died  
Odds are it wasn't one of his own inventions  
Though those odds were tiny

435\. Protect Devastator  
I could of at least taken the gun out  
Along with the foolish Autobots  
We would have gotten in long before

436\. Bring Menasor and Bruticus  
What were they doing?  
Sitting on their afts

437\. Never kick Megatron   
I should know that would just frag him off  
And he always comes back

438\. Don't rely on Astrotrain  
The fool continues to frag everything up  
Even his own take over attempt  
And they laughed at me

439\. Never ditch my Trine  
Frist comes family  
Second comes Trine  
Because Trine is family

440\. Prevent fighting by taking leadership  
It is mine by right  
I didn't need Shockwave to confirm it

441\. Keep Megatron's cannon for a trophy  
Who threw it out into space  
I will punish you   
Slowly

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rumble rumbling at you. Since Screamer had declared himself Decepticon leader he had passed down the... pleasure of writing this to me.

I wish him a short and painful reign.

442\. Be less impatient  
You were being coronated  
Although five seconds later and...

443\. Megatron always comes back  
In one way or another  
You always get my aft kicked  
In one way or another

444\. Reign for longer than 27 seconds  
It took longer to plan  
And even then mechs cheered  
Including Soundwave   
Who usually wouldn't have cared

445\. Stop creating clones  
We know you were all bent out of shape by chucking them out  
But you knew it was them  
So why did you 

Well I was so glad that my prediction was correct. Starscream had a short reign but unfortunately it was painless.

Megatron would have made it painful. Oh well now we don't have to listen to those whiny vocals for much longer.

Huh I just got an email from someone, don't know who.

**_I am still here and I will get my revenge_ **

What is that about?


	37. Starscream's Ghost

Rumble seems to have gotten freaked even writing just a small part of this list. Like the Defence Against the Dark Arts in Harry Potter this list is now cursed, either through Starscream or Skywarp.

I don't know how it could be Skywarp since Cyclonus is doing nothing. Well you can call me Sweep. Sweep #14564 to be exact. I don't even know why I am doing this.

Maybe to show some normalcy in this insane time.

446\. Don't send mechs questionable pictures  
I mean it looked like Arcee  
With some different armour  
We know you sent it before you deactivated  
It isn't nice to femmes

447\. Teach the Combaticons the meaning of silence  
They were going after Octane  
If Sandstorm wasn't there they would have been made  
Not as though they can shoot

448\. Be more sentimental  
You build a monument to Thundercracker  
And Skywarp  
I'm guessing not Megatron

449\. Continue on with the creepy entrances  
Good job  
You managed to scare everyone in the crypt  
Well...  
Both Scourge and the Sweeps were scared to begin with

450\. You don't have buddies  
One: You're deactivated  
Two: You tossed them out of Astrotrain  
Three: YOU'RE DEACTIVATED

451\. Stop glittering  
This isn't Twilight  
You are not a vampire  
Mainly because you don't suck

452\. Stop helping  
All you wanted was a lift out of the Crypt  
And besides how could you  
You never helped when you were online  
and...  
You're deactivated

453\. Stop telling people not to fear you  
You're a ghost  
Most mechs have a fear of the deactivated  
Actually  
Most mechs were afraid of you when you were online

454\. Stop thinking of revenge  
It always gets you nowhere

455\. Stop painting Scourge and the Sweeps claws  
They get laughed at enough  
Now you add orange claws  
We know it was you  
Even if you couldn't leave the Crypt

456\. Stop making up insults  
'Hiding like a pocket computer'  
We know it was you  
Or it was Skywarps influence on Cyclonus  
Nah

457\. Sneak attacks are not nessecary  
What was Cyclonus going to do?  
Shoot?  
Once again you're already deactivated  
It would do nothing

458\. Stop being creepy  
We know you were deactivated  
I've stated it here so many times  
No need to cackle insanely

459\. Stop saying weird things  
'Only my metal polisher knows for sure'  
Well having no body has turned you insane  
At least not as insane as Galvatron  
That would be depressing

460\. Keep talking in Cyclonuses vocals  
You just sound weird switching  
I don't know how the others didn't pick up  
I was too scared to comment

461\. No sarcasm  
We know he was just stating the obvious  
And besides how did you expect to get out  
Or was it part of your plan?  
Yeah that sounds right

462\. Ignore the ridicule  
You are now an insult  
One Sweep said it was an insult to say Cyclonus sounded like you  
Ha sucked in

463\. Don't fight on the ground  
You just plain suck at it  
Just like you suck at imitating voices  
Or just too stupid to continue the charade?

464\. Stop yelling at Octane  
All he does is follow  
And his plans suck  
Worse than yours did

465\. Make more plans with the Autobots  
They work just as well as yours alone  
But hey  
Both you and Rodimus sucked as leaders  
He just lasted longer

466\. Keep up your acting  
'Cyclonus' does administer a good interrogation  
Why not Vortex  
You couldn't whip anyone  
Wow that was bad

467\. Wave back  
Rodimus was good enough to wave at you

468\. Don't monologue until you know they are deactivated  
Wow that was a long rule  
Galvatron always comes back  
Don't you know this by now?

467\. Continue taunting the insane mech  
Yeah you know I'm being sarcastic here  
You really shouldn't  
Not even if you are immortal

468\. You suck at humility  
Although you were right  
Destroying you was a disservice to the Decepticons  
Mainly because you can now antagonise them  
For all eternity

469\. Jump out so your host feels the blast  
I mean who would want to feel that cannon twice?  
Not as though it is as powerful or anything

470\. Possess the next in command  
Continuing your reign of terror is easy  
Why didn't Soundwave pick you up?  
Actually...  
Where the frag is Soundwave?

So the fun is just continuing, one now insane leader, one actually loyal second, one idiot third and one immortal ex SIC and Air Commander (time as leader was too short to do anything).

Yeah no wonder we are fragged.


	38. Charr Suggestions

Well the suggestions box here on Charr hasn't had as many hits as the one on the Nemesis. There is a wide variety of reasons. 

1\. Galvatron keeps blowing it up  
2\. Mechs are more scared of Starscream  
3\. We're not as good as Skywarp  
4\. Starscream is actually making Charr nice

As a Sweep I know that I get mistaken for some of my brethren but we are individuals (sometimes two with Starscream) and so mechs talk around us, sometimes about the above reasons. Well there is no concrete evidence to this so on with the list.

1\. You are not the ghosts from the Shining  
So please stop trying to get Soundwave to deactivate the cassettes  
We know that is why he has gone into hiding  
Or he really was in a relationship with Megatron?  
Suggested: A Sweep

2\. Don't possess Cyclonus  
You don't want to annoy Galvatron again  
It will end bad  
Suggested: Galvatron

3\. Don't possess Scourge  
Schizophrenia doesn't look good with him  
Or with you  
Suggested: Cyclonus

4\. Don't possess anyone  
Even an Autobot  
It isn't funny  
Especially when you cannot remember what you did  
Or why you have guns trained on you  
Astrotrain still hasn't gotten over it  
Suggested: Astrotrain

5\. Stop playing with Rodimus Prime  
We know his spoiler looks like wings  
No we don't want to know how sensitive they are  
Or where to touch them  
Well the Coneheads do  
Suggested: Blitzwing

6\. Stop referring to the Ghost Busters  
There is no such thing  
Much as we would like them  
Just to get rid of you  
Suggested: Scourge

7\. Never sing I Get Knocked Down by Smash Mouth  
We really need a reason for it  
It is a pub song  
Not a song about you  
Suggested: Soundwave 

8\. Never sing I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor  
For the same reason as the one above  
Well this one kind of does suit you  
But you mangle the lyrics  
Suggested: Deadend

9\. No getting chummy with Deadend  
We know he is obsessed with death  
Doesn't mean you have to inform him of it  
He is morbid enough  
Suggested: Motormaster

10\. Don't entice the mechs into necrophilia  
I don't want to know how good it is  
You are dead  
I was still shocked by your popularity  
Suggested: Arcee

11\. Stop saying how you will be in a movie  
No you will not be in Paranormal Activities 3  
Who would want you there  
Why would you want a baby anyway?  
Moron  
Suggested: Springer

12\. You are not a ghost  
We don't know what you are  
But you are not a ghost  
Suggested: Perceptor

13\. You are not a demon either  
Same reason for the ghost  
You are technically still alive  
Well your spark is online  
So not a ghost  
And you were a mech so not demon  
Suggested: First Aid

14\. Stop saying that Sideswipe is Christine  
That isn't honourable to the deceased  
Yes we know they are both red  
And come from the Pit  
But that doesn't mean he will come back from the grave  
And Christine is a girls name  
Suggested: Mirage

15\. Just stop it with the Stephen King references  
Sunstorm is not a Firestarter  
You were not buried at the Pet Cemetary  
Charr is not the Overlook  
Hound is not a Buick 8  
Ratbat hates Mist  
Kup is not the Gunslinger  
You never had to tunnel out of prison  
Just stop it  
It is creepy  
Suggested: Kup

16\. Stop randomly walking through walls  
You know what some mechs are like  
First Aid and Hook are complaining  
Quite a few mechs are becoming paranoid  
Especially about you walking in on them doing... private things  
Suggested: Hook

17\. Possess Galvatron  
We don't know why you haven't yet  
I mean if you get Galvatron under control then you have the Decepticons  
 **If** you do  
We cannot stress the if part any more  
Suggested: Hot Rod

18\. Don't shadow the Sweeps  
It is creepy  
And puts everyone off the war  
Suggested: Another Sweep

19\. Stop laughing randomly in a corner  
It scares the mechs  
It scares the humans  
And makes everyone wonder if you are sane  
…  
We knew you weren't to begin with  
Suggested: Scrapper

20\. The game 'Guess who is 'Screamer' is now banned  
It was causing dissention amongst the ranks  
And caused a lot of finger pointing  
Mainly to you  
Suggested: Cyclonus

21\. You do not need a Reaper  
That is just for human souls  
And you are not in Dead Like Me  
Just no  
Suggested: Blurr

22\. You are not a Reaper  
We know they aren't dead either  
But they have physical bodies  
Which you do not  
Suggested: Scrapper

23\. Ask Unicron to bring back Skywarp and Thundercracker  
What is wrong with Cyclonus?  
Not commenting on Scourge  
(What went wrong there?)  
And odds are he won't bring them back after what you did  
Suggested: Dirge

24\. Ask Unicron to bring Megatron back  
Oddly enough this suggestion was placed two hundred and fifty times  
Mainly because Galvatron kept destroying them  
I wonder why  
Just because Megatron was a better leader...  
And it wasn't signed  
Suggested: …...

25\. Go possess a fangirl/fanboy  
I suggest one of these  
Pysconinja7  
Haluwasa2  
Lambor Terror Lep  
9aza  
Mahimomo  
OrianPrime92  
Kishyka  
DitzyMusicLover  
anonybot  
Demons Kin  
Gatekat  
MasterChiefAnderson  
Friglit  
Sakura117  
Great Diabla Assassin  
Warzonebeta  
MissCHSparkles  
Tristar  
Hedgehog B. Rebecca  
Rio Voltaire  
Syntia 13  
ABSOLute Chimera  
mk.inked  
Saberfrost  
MISCrasyaboutfanfics  
Reality Obscured  
Random 523  
Love Psycho  
shadowwriter01  
Joyeu  
Winnifred Daquer  
Eliza  
anonymous  
glompmeXD  
Jesus Luvs Everyone  
Nuclear Chick  
Wow that is a long list  
Good luck possessing them all  
Suggested: Jazz

26\. Stop sending letters to Megatron  
You know it just annoys Galvatron  
I mean you date them from years before  
It isn't good for his sanity  
Suggested: Bonecrusher

27\. There is no rule 27  
This will never be talked about  
Both Rodimus and Galvatron agreed  
Suggested: Rodimus Prime and Galvatron

28.Stop stockpiling Energon  
You don't need it  
Give it to mechs that do  
Suggested: Onslaught

29\. G( &^ th# P1t S*52scr%^m  
Eh looks like we got another garbled one  
Still don't know who it is from  
Suggested: M*^$t#&n

30\. Never use Youtube  
Just no  
Not even to humiliate mechs  
Suggested: Vortex

31\. Stop talking to Unicron  
We don't need that type of anxiety  
Who knows what you can get up to with him  
…  
The universe is coming to an end  
The Pit has frozen  
Suggested: Primus

Well it has been a tough few weeks but Starscream has been laying low (in one of us) and so I have had time to write these up.

Still not as good as Skywarp


	39. Ghost in the Machine

Well there seems to be a massive party going on in the Charr base. Honestly in my short life I haven't seen the Decepticons so hyped. And quite possibly will never see them like this again.

So shall I get on with this so I can go party. 

471\. Find a more appropriate time to possess someone  
Scourge was at the back of a line  
A Sweep noticed you  
Cyclonus has bunny ears  
Just thought it was funny

472\. Don't argue with Scourge  
We all know he is a coward  
You should have been able to completely control him  
But you are a slacker

473\. Don't paint Galvatron  
I know his paintjob is bad  
But dark blue alongside his orange cannon?  
With light purple pelvis armour?  
Ok that was excellent

474\. Actually fire on Galvatron  
I mean you didn't fire on him  
Just in his general direction  
More on the Sweeps   
And useless idiots

475\. Stop telling Galvatron what to say  
“There is no reasoning with him. He has lost his mind”  
Coming from Galvatron...  
Yeah we better get off that subject

476\. You are now a madness  
Don't blame me  
Cyclonus was the one who asked

477\. Suck on a cough lollie  
I swear deactivation has done nothing for your vocaliser  
It is rougher than when you were online  
And that really isn't saying much

478\. Use another entrance  
You know it was rude to use his eyes to get in?  
I mean that is what the Autobots used  
Twice  
Before blowing his body up  
And throwing him into stasis

479\. Don't stay in one mech  
It is weird  
And you want to spead the love as much as you can

480\. Always get the terms first  
You never know what Unicron wants with you  
With you...  
THE IMAGES

481\. Don't leave your designated body alone  
Don't know where it will go  
Maybe back to Charr  
Leaving you with no way to succeed

482\. Be silent  
I agree with Unicron on that one  
You screetch too much  
Yes you screech  
Never called it talking

483\. When sneaking in don't expose yourself  
And I don't mean opening your canopy  
Or other things  
Stay hidden  
Or sparkle less

484\. Don't complain about the cold  
How do you feel with no sensors  
I mean your spark isn't even there

485\. Take full control or let Scourge do things  
You just had to break the eye didn't you?  
Wow...  
That was a sentence I never thought I would write

486\. Make a sneaky exit  
You don't want the Arialbots on your tail  
Or that idiot Powerglide 

487\. Keep on pre-planning your attacks  
We could tell the hole you hid the eye in was pre-dug  
You moved the soil too easily

488\. Continue making glorious entrances  
You really did scare Runabout and Runamuck  
And quite possibly Scourge  
But he was scared to begin with

489\. Show your passes  
I don't know what a pass is  
Or why you need it  
But you still could have shown it

490\. Possess more twins  
Have one shoot the other  
And then knock himself out  
Yeah I know I have a dirty processor

491\. Posess a variety of mechs  
You should have seen Astrotrains face  
It was hilarious  
Not as good as what you did after though

492\. Don't complain you can't get back to Cybertron  
We don't need to hear that from you  
Nor can you dump the eyes  
You need a body

493\. Stop speech writing for Galvatron  
Sure he starts out good  
But eventually he just degrades into processorless yelling and shooting  
Not fun to be around

494\. Dispose of your own get away vehicles  
Don't use the Autobots  
They might let him live

495\. Prevent Astrotrain from telling the Autobots about you  
You already have the Decepticons after you  
Why bring the Autobots down too  
You did start out a secret

496\. Don't leave Scourge to put the eyes in  
What if he did a bodge job  
These are your tasks to do

497\. Don't complain about Scourge talking too much  
You do the exact same  
Just with a more annoying voice  
Which will haunt us for eternity

498\. Ask what all the tasks were  
You were already at Trypticon  
You could have taken him then  
Like Octane chose to before  
Maybe you wouldn't like task 2 or 3  
Then you were fragged to begin with

499\. Don't play with Skylynx's ensignia  
It isn't very good  
And you could have changed the colour  
A red Decepticon symbol?

500\. Take after Unicron more  
I mean he kept Scourge in line  
Even had a good threat  
Well he could take away what he gave Scourge  
Which was everything  
Even his idiocracy

501\. Give Galvatron what he wants  
He did want to know what was going on  
Just not the way it happened  
Not on his aft in the dirt  
After falling off of a transforming Trypticon

502\. Never talk back to Galvatron  
G: Starscream! You are a dead mechanism  
SS: Of course i'm dead Galvatron. But not for much longer and by then are you going to be sorry  
G: I'm already sorry

503\. Thank Galvatron for apologising  
He did say he was sorry  
Possibly for not torturing you before deactivating you  
But it was an apology

504\. Never tell us how you managed to fit the eyes into Unicron  
They are way too small to fit  
Just no

505\. Redefine fun  
Shooting your former comrades?  
Well for you that would be fun   
They did just stand around a laugh at you when you deactivated

506\. Never connect Unicrons head to Cybertron  
A body for a body  
Scourge flew off  
What a coward

507\. Praise Runabout, Runamuck, Dirge and Thrust  
Well they did ruin your plans to get a body  
Actually they got it for you earlier  
And you didn't have to do what Unicron wanted

508\. Defy someone else  
“Do it yourself!”   
Well didn't you get a backbone

509\. Get as far away from a bomb  
You don't know when it will save your life  
Newly resurrected as it is

510\. Don't get hit by Galvatron  
You wanted a body  
And now you have one  
So the first thing you do is get blown away  
Smart

511\. Drift through space for eternity  
No one wants you here  
You are yesterdays problems  
Goodbye Starscream!

Charr Suggestions 1.2  
32\. Protect Jazz  
His suggestion was noted  
And mobs have been sent after him  
Consisting of numerous fangirls/fanboys  
You must save him  
Suggested: Springer

33\. Stop saying you have been talking to Prime  
We know he is in the Matrix  
You are not  
So therefore you cannot talk to him  
Suggested: Ultra Magnus

34\. No suggesting RodimusXGalvatron  
Even though they do make a good couple  
No this isn't the reason for rule 27  
Remember there is no rule 27  
Suggested: Cyclonus

35\. Ask Primus to bring all the 'good Transformers back'  
Well we just cannot have that  
I mean what will happen with the toys?  
And all their jobs got taken by newbies  
Suggested: Grimlock

36\. Never mention PowerglideXAstoria  
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww  
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww  
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww  
That is just wrong  
Suggested: Skydive

37\. Don't sing Human League  
Wow this one is an oldie  
It mentions Megatron  
Well anyway just don't sing it  
Even if you were 'born' to do mistakes  
Suggested: Blitzwing

38\. Never sing Don't You Want Me Baby  
It just brings up images we don't want to see  
Gah the images!  
Get them out of my helm  
HOOK!  
Suggested: Scourge

39\. Never post which Transformers fangirls/fanboys like  
You got some of them in trouble  
When they commented that they didn't like Galvatron  
Now we have lawsuits against us  
Suggested: Acid Storm

I don't even know why I did these suggestions since you are now tumbling through space harmless to everyone but yourself. 

I hope you like your new décor and you new company cause no one will look for you. You will just float forever is space.

For all eternity.

Alone.


	40. Possession

Blackarachnia was kind enough to supply me with a copy of a data pad she discovered while researching our new ex-comrade. Apparently since I was the only one not doing anything (or possessed) it was up to me to complete.

I, Terrorsaur, am too lazy to start a new one so the old list is just going to be updated.

512\. Don't spy  
It isn't your strong point  
I picked that up after only knowing you for a day

513\. Refrain from frying the computers  
We don't have the ability to repair them  
And they are more useful  
Especially against you  
And Waspinator

514\. Never insult someone  
With a voice like that only your creator could love you  
Not even then

515\. Take quicker to possess someone  
You don't know what you missed out on

516\. Always choose to possess Waspinator  
The mech is so slow  
And bumbling  
It takes five minutes for him to spit out one sentence  
We still don't like you though

517\. Don't change a mechs insignia  
You look rediculous with the Decepticon one  
On a Predicon

518\. Stop being a show off  
You just had to flaunt your old shell  
Not as though we couldn't recognise your voice  
Seriously...  
What is with that voice?

519\. Say your full title  
You were the Air Commander  
Blackarachnia also says that you held other titles  
Like Second in Command  
And Supreme Commander (for twenty seven seconds)

520\. Stop yelling  
You are history  
Since you haven't been seen in three hundred years

521\. Explain your own history  
But then we would have to listen to your voice  
Which is bad  
And I have been told on par with my own

522\. Don't suck up to Megatron  
That is Skorponoks job  
And Infernos  
You don't want to irritate them

523\. Stop playing with Inferno  
Where the hell was that Ant?  
Must have been spying on Megatron

524\. Don't make promises  
If you can't make them  
Or are going to break them  
It just screams traitor

525\. Ignore Megatron  
How could the years of weighlessness affect your neurocuircutry?  
You didn't have any neurocuircutry  
That was most likely the problem

526\. Stop dragging Blackarachnia  
It is implying something we don't want to think about

527\. Don't try and be funny  
You were in the neighbourhood?  
Of course we were  
We were attacking

528\. No fancy flying  
How could you with Waspinator?  
He can't even go a day without blowing up  
And you managed it fine

529\. Stop saying your name  
We don't need to hear it twenty seven times  
It does get repetitive  
Although we do have to thank you  
Waspinator say it once a sentence

530\. You should never get promoted  
I was next to be promoted  
Just because you got the Maximal base  
Doesn't mean anything

531\. Stop grinning  
I know me pinned to a table brings back memories  
Why are you grinning?  
Oh because it was happening to someone else

532\. Never talk to Blackarachnia  
She is just creepy  
And a consumate traitor  
Both of you were keeping something  
And we don't need you to be allies.

533\. Never explain the 'better offer'  
No one needs to know about that  
….  
I mean no one

534\. You don't deserve a protoge  
We don't need another one of you  
And besides.  
She can't fly

535\. Everything is 'convenient'  
You just have to be paranoid  
Like Skorponok should have been

536\. Never make up rules  
1\. Always use compassion as a cover for your true motives  
2\. They're always more gullible than you think  
3\. Ignore lessions one and two  
Really?  
You had far too much time to think  
I know the last one was Primal but still

537\. Make sure your prisoner is secure  
That was so dodgy even Waspinator could have gotten out  
Good job Skorponok

538\. Don't try to be cute  
Flattery will get you flattened Vermin  
What in the Pit was that?  
Oh...  
Never mind

539\. Watch your prisoners  
Primal got out with minimal resistance  
Once again good job Skorponok

540\. Make a strategic retreat  
You know when you are actually losing  
Not when you are in battle

541\. You give space debris a bad name  
Sucked in  
Good call from Primal there

542\. Do something  
All you did was wait for Primal to smack you  
Good punch though  
I mean he was flying at you and you didn't hit him  
How bad is your aim?

543\. Don't negotiate  
You suck at it  
Running away more your style?  
I thought so

544\. Watch where you are crawling  
There was Energon behind you  
It could explode at any moment

545\. Never sing 'Twinkle, twinkle little Starscream'  
It doesn't suit you  
And it perverts an already bad song

546\. Never claim vengenance  
“I'll be back! Even if it takes a thousand years, I'll be revenged on you all!”

547\. Deactivate

548\. Deactivate

549\. Deactivate

550\. Just deactivate already  
I have no clue what you will do when you get to the future/past  
But the Great war doesn't need two of you

Darksyde Suggestions  
I don't even know why I am doing this section since you won't be able to read it in space. Ha as if an immortal spark would need to read.

229\. Never tell us tales from the war  
We don't want to know who was 'knocking boots' with whom  
How did some of those stories take place anyway?  
Suggested: Dinobot

230\. Don't star in mechs dreams  
I don't know how the kitty saw you  
Or why for that matter  
Suggested: Cheetor

231\. Don't experiment with Tarantulas  
It creeps all other mechs out  
You might give each other ideas  
Suggested: Skorponok 

232\. No making comparisons between Terrorsaur and yourself  
We know they are there  
We just don't want to know them  
Suggested: Blackarachnia

233\. Stop calling Megatron 'my Queen'  
That is just for Inferno  
And he can barely get away with it  
Suggested: Megatron

234\. 'Royalty' is also banned  
You know imitating Inferno is just annoying Megatron  
You don't even know this Megatron  
Suggested: Megatron

235\. Don't call Dinobot a traitor  
We all know how big a traitor you are  
Suggested: Rattrap

236\. Don't claim to know what planet we are on  
You don't know  
And we don't know  
Suggested: Rhinox

237\. No 'training' Inferno  
The mech is insane enough  
Plus he is enough of a pyromaniac  
Suggested: Waspinator

238\. Stop stalking Cheetor  
We don't want to know why  
Suggested: Tigatron

239\. Stop talking about Unicron  
We don't need to hear your hero worship  
That is kind of disturbed  
Suggested: Inferno

240\. No blowing up Waspinator  
He does it enough on his own  
And sometimes others help  
Suggested: Terrorsaur

241\. Don't use Megatron's spa  
We know how much he likes it  
Uses it every day  
Suggested: Skorponok

242\. Never touch the rubber ducky  
That is Megatrons  
Don't even talk about it  
Suggested: Rubber Ducky

243\. There is no clone  
You are crazy if you think there is one  
No one wants to clone you  
Suggested: Rhinox

244\. No one knew you were immortal  
Otherwise why would we have been so surprised you were back  
Just stop talking about it  
Suggested: Anonymous

245\. Stop bragging about your age  
No femme should do that  
…  
You're a mech?  
Could have surprised me  
Suggested: Cheetor

246\. Never compare Optimus Primal to Optimus Prime  
They are different mechs  
You don't need to show the differences  
Suggested: Optimus Primal

247\. Don't brag about the Great War  
You lost  
Suggested: Dinobot

248\. Never brag about your speed  
You never went against Airrazor  
I would pay to see that  
Suggested: Terrorsaur

249\. Keep your processor here and now  
You seem to go off and talk to 'Warp and TC  
Who are they?  
Suggested: Rattrap

250\. You are not the offspring of Unicron  
That would be just horrific  
And that tops Tarantulas being Unicron spawn  
I know that would be a way you got immortality  
Just no  
Suggested: Tarantulas

Ah I am done now. Starscream has gone... for the moment and everything can go back to where it was.

1984  
The Nemesis  
Skywarp was bored, both him and Thundercracker were stuck with Starscream while he ranted about how it wasn't his fault the Autobots had awoken. All three of them were sitting near an extinct volcano in Africa. Skywarp had taken the time to write his new assignment; Starscream's List of rules.

It was Thundercracker who found it hidden in the hardened lava and removed it. Afterward it had taken Starscream an hour to hack into the security and another two hours before he could transfer the data onto a newer data pad.

“What the frag! Skywarp come here!”

On the data pad that Starscream was holding was the List that he was just beginning, except that it was complete. 

As all three Seekers stood staring in their hands a cold wind blew up bringing the sound of cold, high pitched laughter and an echo of words.

“Even if it takes me a thousand years”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are done. I tried doing one for Armada but didn't get very far

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: All these came out of G1. I have only added a few things like in rule 1. Do you know that I picked up 7 mistakes in the first few episodes; most were double ups or Seeker colour screw ups. This will continue through G1 till Ghost in the Machine though who will write it after TFTM I don't know.


End file.
